The Long Con

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Power play

Flashback. Sawyer's sitting in a diner, and the waitress drops off a steak sandwich and two beers. We hear someone all thrilled that Sawyer got him a beer. And hey! It's Kevin Dunn…who I know mainly from playing a friend that Jerry wanted to dump on an early episode of Seinfeld. Sawyer tells the guy that if he wants a beer to "ask the lady," which he does, as well as ordering some chicken salad, white meat only, and "for god's sake" no celery, like how obnoxious is this guy? The waitress, who we now see is Kate's mom Diane, coolly replies that that's how they make it here. Sawyer's buddy sits down. "So. Tell me you got her," he says. And Sawyer reluctantly says that he got her. "All six hundred grand?" asks Buddy. Yep. Oh. They're "revealing" that this is all a con. What a "twist." Buddy figures out from Sawyer's general pissiness that he's fallen for the mark. "I found that bitch!" Buddy says, and Sawyer says, "Her name is Cassidy." Oh, and also, he won't do it. And Buddy lectures Sawyer on hormones and thinking he's in love when he's not, and "a tiger doesn't change his stripes," and blah blah blah, and Sawyer's a con man and can't change that, and when Cassidy finds out who Sawyer really is, she'll hate his guts. Really? She knows he's a con man. Seems to me she'll only hate his guts if he cons her, and Sawyer seems reluctant to do that. So when he gets up to go, Buddy gets up with him to tell him he's not walking away now. "You owe me! You don't wanna pay me? I'll put one in your ear, James. You and your little friend Cassidy." Sawyer glares at him.

Down in the hatch-hole, Sawyer's snapped out of his daydream by the beeping of the timer. He's in the computer room, and the timer's at 3:50, counting down. He starts entering the numbers as Jack and Jin come in. Jack wants to know what he's doing here, and Sawyer tells him he's this close to getting the high score on Donkey Kong. Jin speaks urgently to Jack; he has no time for Donkey Kong! Sawyer finishes putting in the numbers and the timer resets. "Now, what can I do you for?" Jack asks where Locke is, and Sawyer says he said something about going to the store for some cigarettes. And he smirks. Next on ABC: Smirking and Glaring: The Sawyer Story.

Jack opens the armoury, only to find it as empty as a fireworks shop on the fifth of July. Even the Virgin Marys are gone. "Uh oh, looks like we got ourselves a theft. Who's gonna call the cops?" says Sawyer. Jack asks where the guns are, and Sawyer, swallowing a pill, says he was just pushing buttons. That's true on many levels, especially as he holds up the pills and says he thinks they belong to Jack, and then tosses him the bottle. Jack decides, "First do some harm," and steps forward to fight Sawyer, but Jin stops him.

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