Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Check The Expiration Date!

Young Ben thinks he has the code to turn off the security fence. Young psychopath that he is, he of course tests his hypothesis on a bunny. Animal testing leads to serial killing the way marijuana leads to heroin! After the bunny doesn't die, Ben runs through the fence looking for his mom. He runs around in the woods screaming for his mommy, but doesn't find her. He does find a perfectly intact 1970s edition of Mr. Eyeliner, though! Who needs mom when you have a creepy, long-haired, wildly-gesticulating, never-aging Richard? Mr. Eyeliner is apparently a so-called hostile although he balks at the title. He asks Ben if he even knows what hostile means, man. By opening his hands wide and making himself appear messianic, Mr. Eyeliner convinces Young Ben that he is not a hostile, but a friendly! Ben tells Mr. Eyeliner that he is looking for his mother. After some encouragement, he confesses that technically he's looking for his dead mother. Mr. Eyeliner asks whether his mother died on the Island. Ben explains that she didn't die on the Island, that she died when he was a baby, but he sees her here and she spoke to him. Mr. Eyeliner looks intrigued, but tells Ben to go homo, I mean home, because his people are probably looking for him. Ben refuses to go home and yells that he hates it there and he never wants to go back. He tells Mr. Eyeliner that he wants to go with him. Mr. Eyeliner says that if he really wants that, then he has to be patient. It will take time. But if he really wants it, he can do it. Creepfest! When is Ice T going to come and get all SVU on this guy?

Ben and Locke finally arrive at Jacob's derelict cabin. Locke, the Unabomber wannabe that he is, finds it charming and immediately starts sizing it up for drapes. Ben instructs Locke to turn off his flashlight, because Jacob feels the same way about technology as Locke. So Jacob likes to obsessively play computer chess for hours until he wins and then blows up the computer so no one can beat his high score? What does that have to do with a flashlight? Locke turns off the light while Ben lights up a kerosene lantern. As her prepares to open the door, Ben turns to Locke and says, "Once I open this door, there is no turning back. Are you sure this is what you want?" Locke just stares at him in a perfect visual representation of the word "Duh." Ben stares for a second, says, "So be it," and turns to the cabin door. He knocks and announces to Jacob that it is him and he brought John Locke and they are coming in now. Ben opens the cabin door. Ben and Locke walk into the cabin. It is decorated exactly like a shooting gallery, complete with rocking chair, dog portrait, and old time-y mining gear perfect for aiming at and collecting oversized stuffed Spongebob Squarepants dolls with your winnings. Maybe that's why Alex said Locke would need a gun! Win her a teddy bear, Locke! Locke is steadily evaluating the room when he realizes that Ben is talking to an empty rocking chair. Ben is a total nut bar. Locke incredulously demands to know who Ben is talking to. Ben points at the chair and introduces Jacob. Locke can't help but point out that no one is there. Ben sneers, "You can't see him? He's sitting right here in this chair." He is interrupted by the rude voices in his head and responds, "Yes, I know, but he insisted." Locke is dumbfounded. Ben turns on Locke, "You said you wanted the secrets of this Island, well, this is the man who can answer every single... " He stops to respond to the voice that is accusing him of something, "You thought that was my choice?" Locke looks at Ben worriedly, like if he got any dumber he would have to water him. He finally stops staring and sputters, "You're crazy." Which is obviously an understatement. Locke is pretty darn aggravated, "You don't know anything about this Island!" His rant is interrupted by Ben pleading with "Jacob" to let him finish and to stop talking long enough so that he can hear what Locke has to say. Locke snaps, "Stop it! Are you putting on a show for me? Or do you really think there is someone there?" Ben replies, "I know there is someone there." Locke turns away in disgust, "You don't know anything."

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