Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Check The Expiration Date!

Later that afternoon, they drive the VW bus up a hill and park. Roger pulls out a beer and opines that the Island really is beautiful. Ben, who just can't shake the birthday blues, doesn't bother opening a beer and glumly asks, "Do you really blame me? Do you really think it is my fault that she died?" Oh Ben, you are so needy. Needy of therapy. Roger sighs, chugs his beer, and says, "Eh, what do I know?" Ben keeps glancing at his watch. It's almost four. His dad wonders why he keeps looking at it, does he have a date? Ben doesn't answer, and his dad promises that he will do his best to remember his birthday next year. Ben adjusts his glasses and replies that he doesn't think that will happen. He then continues his Eeyore impersonation: "You know, I've missed her too, almost as much as you have. But the difference is that I've had to put up with you and doing that required a tremendous amount of patience. Goodbye Dad." Ben dons a gas mask, pulls a can of nerve gas or something out of his bag, and gasses his dad to death. Maybe that wasn't an Eeyore impersonation after all. Ben is still wearing the gas mask when he hikes back to the Barracks. Everyone at the camp is dead. Apparently they have all been gassed. Ben spies Horace dead on a bench. He walks up to him and shuts his eyes. As he stares around at the many dead bodies, the formerly so-called, now aptly-named, Hostiles fill the camp. They all have masks on and are holding guns. After looking at his watch, Mr. Eyeliner takes off his mask. The Others follow suit. Mr. Eyeliner asks if Ben wants them to go get his dad's body. Ben says no, they can leave him out there. That's cold! There's an old joke that keeps running through my head: How do you know if a hippie was in your house? He's still there! Guess the Hostiles solved that little problem with a whole mess of toxic gas.

The camera switches from Ben's face to the mummified face of a Dharma member. Hard to tell the difference really. That is, until the camera pulls back to reveal a mass grave filled with the bodies of the Dharma Initiative. Locke looks like he walked into a fart while Ben intones, "This is where I come from, John. These are my people. The Dharma Initiative. They came here seeking harmony, but they couldn't even coexist with the Island's original inhabitants. When it became clear that one side had to go-- one side had to be purged-- I did what I had to do. I was one of the people who was smart enough to make sure I didn't end up in that ditch. Which makes me considerably smarter than you, Locke." At that, Locke opens his eyes wide, reaches for his gun, and spins around to aim at Ben, but Ben has been taking lessons from all the Deadwood castoffs that staff this show and manages to shoot Locke square in the gut and knock him into the ditch before Locke can even draw. As Locke lies dying on a pile of beef jerkified Dharma Initiative skeletons, Ben looms over him and demands to know what Jacob told him. Locke holds the gunshot wound and asks Ben, "Why did you do this?" Ben replies, "Because you heard Jacob. Now I need to know what he told you." Locke says, "Help me." Ben aims the gun again and demands to know. Locke holds up his hands in protest, "He said 'help me'!" Ben smirks and says, "Well, I hope Jacob helps you." Then he leaves Locke gorked out and dying in a ditch. Cold-hearted shrimp.

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