Three Minutes

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
The less-than-fantastic four

To Charlie's credit (I might actually be starting to approach tolerating him again), he's decided to keep working on the church without Eko. Of course, he's finding it difficult putting the roof poles in place without Eko. And since Eko is twice Charlie's size, it's like the church has lost two-thirds of its workforce. But at least Charlie's trying. Plus, we get to hear cute British swearing like "Bloody hell," as he drops a pole. Sodding wanker! Bleedin' telly!

Vincent comes running up; he's carrying one of the Virgin Mary statues in his mouth, and he drops it at Charlie's feet. How did Vincent know Charlie was just about to take a break? "Are you kidding me?" asks Charlie. Vincent hilariously picks it up and drops it again, which is what my dog looks like playing with toys. Charlie asks if someone put him up to this, and Vincent wags his tail in response and goes running off. Charlie follows him into Sawyer's tent, where it looks like Sawyer uncharacteristically didn't seem too concerned about anyone finding his stash, as Vincent's nosed into it without too much apparent difficulty. Charlie digs into the stash, finds the rest of the statues, and COMPLETELY IGNORES the stack of Playboy magazines. I'm always fascinated when I see porno magazines at airport newsstands. You can't keep from jerking off during a flight that you need to buy these? Who buys these?

Next we see Charlie standing on a beach, staring at the sea. One by one he throws the statues into the ocean, and he clearly had to learn how to throw for this scene. And it's too bad his personal demons take precedence over any possible practical use for the heroin, much like Hurley dumping out all the food. But Hurley was worse. Were I dying on this island, I think I'd prefer a bullet to a syringe to make my death less painful. That's also how I'd started feeling about Charlie scenes lately, but as long as he's not feeling sorry for himself, it's okay. This scene goes on forever, as we get down to the last of the three thousand statues that Charlie carried to the beach, and he stares at it for a long time, and he stares at the ocean, and he chucks the very last one in, watching it drop into the rippling surface.

We go to a side view, and the camera pulls around to show Locke sitting on the beach, taking it all in. Charlie looks over for the first time, and they look at each other a moment. No cheesy smile, no Locke standing up and slowly starting to clap, no Charlie asking, "How long have you been sitting there?" and no Locke answering, "Long enough." More's the pity.

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