Three Minutes

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
The less-than-fantastic four

Jack's down the hatch, and he sees Eko at the computer and gives him hell because he was supposed to come right back, but was out in the jungle all night. Like Jack's the dad and Eko's the teenager who missed curfew. "We were unable to find Henry's trail," says Eko, and Jack's all, no shit, and asks where Locke is. "I do not know," says Eko. A frustrated Jack tells him that they're burying Ana-Lucia and Libby at sunset. "Thank you. I will mourn them in my own way," says Eko. Translation: no need to save me a place graveside.

Jack stomps off, and we cut to him and Sawyer getting the guns ready for the raid. Sawyer quietly asks who's going to talk at the funeral. "I'm sure Hurley will want to burble nonsensical eyeroll-inducing things about Libby," predicts Jack. "I never even knew her last name," says Sawyer, and Jack thinks about it, because it sounds like Sawyer's talking about Libby, and Jack doesn't know Libby's last name either, and I don't think I do, but it doesn't matter because Sawyer's talking about Ana-Lucia. Jack tells him it was Cortez. "Cortez, there you go," says Sawyer, who really looks pained about something. He stands there grimacing, with Jack not noticing, and finally Sawyer says, "I screwed her." Nice. This was the source of confusion between me and my wife, as it sounds kind of like he was saying it as though there should have been an "over" at the end of the sentence. Jack's likewise confused. "That's how she got my gun. Ana. She jumped me," says Sawyer, but Jack's brain cells have apparently been dying off at a rate ten times faster than that of the average person since that Oceanic Flight 815 crashed so long ago, and he still has no idea. "We got caught in a net," explains Sawyer. Sawyer, listen to me: Kate and Jack literally GOT CAUGHT IN A NET. But at least Jack takes his meaning, and asks why Sawyer's telling him this. Bragging? "Because you're about the closest thing I got to a friend, doc," saws Sawyer, which makes me feel really sorry for Sawyer. "And because she's gone," he says, sliding a bullet into the chamber. Right, because she threatened to kill you if you told anyone, but that threat's been removed, huh? Jack manages not to burst out laughing. But Sawyer's not done. "Well, at least now we get to kill somebody," he says, and pumps his rifle, which is not a euphemism.

We get an overhead shot of Hurley and Kate digging the graves. Michael strolls up and watches them for a moment, before climbing down into a grave and grabbing one of those hollowed-out trees that have been fashioned into a kind of shovel. He asks Kate if Jack's filled her in on the plan. Kate's all, "what plan?" Michael says they're leaving first thing tomorrow, back across the island to their camp. Kate says, "That's a great plan, Michael. That's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. That's a Swiss fucking watch."

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