Three Minutes

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
The less-than-fantastic four

Jack and Sawyer are walking to the funeral together, with Jack telling Sayid that he was on Oceanic Flight 815 to bring his father home for the funeral. Sayid says he's sorry. Ah, no one's blaming ya, Sayid. Jack rambles on about how he was going to go right from the airport to the funeral, and he had no idea what he was going to say, and now here he is going to another funeral. Sayid has no idea how to respond to Jack's maudlin blatherings, so he shifts gears entirely: "I think Michael is compromised." This literally stops Jack in his tracks, so Sayid tells him to keep walking. Jack wonders why Michael would lie to them. Sayid's all, because they have his boy? Duh? Michael's already knocked out Locke and threatened to shoot Jack in order to go after his son. Sayid also believes that Michael set Henry free and that he's leading the group into a trap. "You believe a lot," says Jack. "I also believed Henry was one of them," Sayid reminds him. That's game, Shephard. Jack looks over to Michael, standing graveside, and says they should go talk to him. Sayid thinks they oughta keep it on the down-low for now, because they'll have an advantage if Michael doesn't know they know. And how would that work, Jack wants to know. "I don't know yet. But we have one more night to figure that out," says Sayid.

Jack "Stone Cold" Shephard is giving Ana-Lucia's eulogy, which is too bad. Could be worse. Could be Sawyer. Actually, come to think of it, Sawyer standing up there and saying, "I screwed her," would be kind of awesome. Jack says Ana-Lucia was a cop before the plane crash. "I don't think it was easy for her, being here, but she did the best she could." As opposed to how easy it's been for EVERYONE ELSE to be there, apparently. But it only gets worse, as Jack says Ana was a woman of few words, so he's going to follow her example. "Rest in peace, Ana," he says, and I'm halfway surprised Ana doesn't rise from the dead to kick Jack in the nuts for that crappy eulogy. Then Jack glares over at Michael, like nice poker face, Jack. But Michael doesn't notice.

Oh, man, I didn't know how good we had it, because now Hurley's going to give Libby's eulogy. It takes him forever to explain that she was a psychiatrist, or a psychologist, one of those, and she probably helped a lot of people, including him. Kate rubs his back. There, there, shut up, Hurley! He burbles on about how she was his friend, and we get to watch Michael squirm, and it's not fair this happened to her, and blah blah, and Hurley looks over at Michael, and says, "I'm going with you." Hurley says goodbye to Libby's body. Kate looks forlorn. Sayid looks like he has man-boobs, which we know he doesn't, so that's some unfortunate Hawaiian sunset lighting right there. Sun and Jin look sad. Claire looks sad, and she takes hold of Charlie's hand. Will Ferrell's got a woman on each arm, and he is totally losing his shit, crying about the injustice of death. He's REALLY broken up. Everybody stands around for a while, wondering how long they have to stand there grieving a couple of people they didn't really know that well.

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