Three Minutes

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
The less-than-fantastic four

Thirteen days ago, Michael hoofs it across a clearing. See him take a water break! See him check a compass! See the opening credits let us know that Walt will in fact be in this episode! Michael comes across someone at a moment when men are at maybe our most vulnerable: taking a leak. Michael unshoulders his rifle and points it at the Other, presumably, and tells him to get his hands up. The Other doesn't seem too perturbed about having a rifle pointed at him, and gets all chatty with Michael, telling him to calm down. He says, "Hey, you're Walt's old man!" like they're parents at their children's school's Meet The Teachers night. And then we see why the leaky Other isn't so concerned; Zeke's right behind Michael, all beard and gut and shabby clothes, and he grabs Michael's rifle, which goes off into the air, and Michael gets thrown into the arms of the guy who was taking a piss, which is just gross, because Michael didn't even let him wash his hands. Michael struggles and gets away, and pulls out a pistol and starts firing backwards. One of the Others (there's a few of them now) fires back, until Zeke stops him, reminding him that they need Michael. Then Zeke whips out a...bolo? Some sort of weapon that he twirls around his head and then lets fly, tripping Michael up. Zeke tells the other Others to "bag him quick," because his friends are right behind him.

Today, Michael is using his one good arm to scrub the bloodstain off the floor. Would there were a cleaning agent that could scrub the bloodstain from your soul. Eko approaches, and Michael says he didn't hear Eko come in. Eko says he took his shoes off at the entrance, because they were muddy. Shout-out? Can you think of any other point to this dialogue? Michael goes back to cleaning -- that's right, you're on brain detail, Mr. Motherfucking Guns of Navarone -- and Eko gets a cloth from the sink to help him. Michael says Eko used to be a priest, so he believes in hell, right? Specifically, a level of hell exclusively for distraught fathers shooting allies to get his son back, right? Eko launches into a story about when he was at a small parish in England, and there was a young boy who'd hang around the church after mass. Hopefully, this will be different from priests' stories about young boys hanging around the church in small parishes in New England. "And then one day the boy confessed to me that he had beaten his dog to death with a shovel," tells Eko, as Michael looks on, horrified. The dog had bitten this boy's sister, and the boy was protecting her, but he was worried he'd go to hell for this. Eko says he told the boy, "God would understand, that he would be forgiven, as long as he was sorry." But the boy didn't care about forgiveness; "he was only afraid that if he did go to hell, that dog would be there waiting for him."

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