Two For The Road

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
So glad to have you back, Michael

Sawyer's strolling through the jungle, when he appears to have heard something. He looks around. "Come out, come out, whoever you are," he sings, all De Niro in Cape Fear, and goes on about how he knows someone's out there, and don't make him come in after you, and etc. Someone clears her throat behind him, and he turns around to see Ana-Lucia standing there. He asks if "Li'l Red Riding Hood" is going to follow "the Big Bad Wolf" back to his "stash o' guns," like, can someone please tell Sawyer to quit talking like an idiot? Ana-Lucia says she'll just take the gun he's got on him. He's less than receptive to that idea. "I ain't gonna gimme-you nothing," he says. So Ana takes a swing at him, which he easily sidesteps, and then punches her as she goes by. He chuckles, and for some reason TURNS HIS BACK ON HER, so she grabs him and throws him to the ground, with her on top. He manages to roll her over so he's on top. They struggle for a few moments, and then they stop. "Whatcha gonna do now, muchacha?" he whispers.

The answer is "stick my tongue down your throat," which is what Ana-Lucia does. They kiss for a moment, and Sawyer breaks it off, surprised. Then he goes back for more, and they roll around on the jungle floor. And then off come the shirts, and the camera pans down to Sawyer's gun, on the ground, and I'm sure it'll still be there when all is said and done. And let's just hope that whatever Sawyer picked up in Tallahassee stayed in Tallahassee, or at the very least that Sawyer has scavenged some condoms.

Daylight. The next day, presumably. Christian chugs a little hair of the dog from a little bottle of liquor in the car as Ana-Lucia drives him around a grimy part of Sydney. She asks him who the woman was, and all he'll say is that she's "a very long story, Sarah." She tells him her name is Ana-Lucia. "Well, I'm still Tom," he says, and she says pathetic is what he is, which he doesn't disagree with. She brings the car to a screeching halt, because she wants to know why he's here. "I'm here because I can't apologize to my son," he says. "He tried to help me, and I thanked him by cutting him off. I thanked him by hating him." I didn't realize that I've actually been thanking most of the characters and some of the episodes this season. Then he tells her she came here for the same reason he did: she was running away.

This brutal moment of honesty is interrupted by Christian noticing that they just happen to have stopped outside a bar. This, to Christian, is fate again. Whenever I hear someone yammer on about fate, I think of that scene early on in Halloween where Jamie Lee Curtis is sitting in class and looking out the window and noticing the car that Michael Myers stole, while the teacher, whom we never see, blathers on and on and says the word "fate" about fifty times. ANYWAY, Christian suggests, "Let's go have a drink at ten and be pathetic together, whaddaya say?" He manages to send quite sinister and/or lecherous as he says it. Ana considers it, then says, "No." Christian doesn't respond, so she says "no" again, like maybe she could possibly stop him from drinking right now. He just says, "That's your call," and opens the car door…which bangs into Sawyer, who angrily yells, "Hey! I'm walkin' here!" like Sawyer's dialogue is brought to you tonight by IMDb's memorable quotes or something, but if he wants to get all Midnight Cowboy, it should be noted that Dustin Hoffman wasn't strolling directly beside the door of a parked car with people likely to get out, now was he? Even in his flashbacks, he's a dick.

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