White Rabbit

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: C- | 1 USERS: C+
Drink Deep Of My Sparkling Stream
Claire approaches Kate, who's sorting through clothing, and asks if she's found a hairbrush. She says she's looked through twenty suitcases and can't find any. Uh...did you ask the castaway with the perfect zig-zag part? She apparently has taken every hairbrush on the plane. Claire feels woozy and sits down, taking a sip of water and putting on a dead person's adorable floppy hat. She asks Kate if she's a Gemini, and Kate bemusedly says she is. (Which is a lie, by the way. She's a Leo.) "I thought so!" Claire says. "Restless, passionate, on the run from the police, star of Brokedown Palace. Trademark Gemini."

Hurley finds Jack under a canopy and tells him they're almost out of water. Well, first he tells him he looks tired. I once got told off by a friend's wife for saying she looked tired. I thought I was expressing concern for her well-being, while she thought I was telling her she looked old and ugly. "Never tell a woman she looks tired!" she yelled. Women! They sure are different from men! [Waits for laughs to subside.] Anyway, Hurley and Charlie have some ideas regarding rationing and finding water -- "Dogs can find pot and bombs, so I'm sure they can find water," says Hurley -- and Jack obviously doesn't want to be the man in charge, but whatever, we're spending this entire scene waiting for the flashback, and finally, with the sound of ice cubes rattling in a glass, it arrives.

Young Jack, black eye and all, visits his father in his study. His father asks him what happened and Jack says he was defending a friend. His father launches into a long, drawn-out, semi-coherent parable, the points of which are: a) he's a surgeon, and b) Jack shouldn't be a hero. I think. It's really dreadfully boring. I while away the time noticing that Jack's dad's study has a ceiling fan, which makes me think that the Trading Spaces designers would rip that shit out instantly. They'd also take out the blood-red carpeting and oak bookshelves; the room, with its big windows, would look great brightened up some, so I imagine they'd paint the walls sea foam and the ceiling royal blue. That leather chair would have to go, to be replaced by something Genevieve found in a Dumpster. Oh, and if Frank were decorating it, he's create a huge wall-sized artwork out of pig shit and crepe paper. What? The speech is over? Okay, moving on.

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