White Rabbit

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: C- | 1 USERS: C+
Drink Deep Of My Sparkling Stream
Broody Beach. Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity wants to know why Jack saved him. He seems really angry, for reasons I don't fully comprehend. "I could've made it back," he says, but Jack stalks away. "You're not the only one who knows what to do," yells Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity. Apropos of nothing, he adds, "I run a business!" I imagine someone told the writers that they needed to give us some of Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity's backstory, so they used a random number generator to determine the moment in the show where'd they'd throw that information in. As the small business owner raves on, Jack sees the man in the suit down the beach, and walks right past Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity without a second thought. Heh. Jack follows the man in the suit into a copse of trees, where he finds the man standing with his back to him. Jack slowly approaches. As he turns, the man's feathery silver hair, tacky blue suit, and prominent nose make him look almost exactly like Paulie Walnuts. Hey, Paulie's on the island looking for the Russian! He turns the rest of the way around, and we see that Paulie Walnuts is actually Jack's dad. Jack falls over as Paulie disappears into the jungle.

Commercials. When we return, Jack's talking to his mom, Veronica Hamel, in a more recent flashback. His mother tells Jack that his father has left and she wants Jack to bring him back. "He hasn't talked to me for two months," Jack protests. What's the big deal? Sometimes I don't talk to my dad for two months, not because we're in a feud or anything, but because we're both busy people. Recently my dad sent me an email that revealed that he had met a woman 17 years his junior, gotten to know her, left the woman he'd been dating for years, starting dating this new woman, and in fact had moved into her house, all since I had last spoken to him. So I'm hard pressed to imagine that Jack's dad managed anything more impressive than that in his two months. (Though it turns out he did accomplish quite a life change in that time.) Anyways, Mrs. Walnuts tells Jack that her husband doesn't have any friends, and Jack has to go get him. They bicker about whether Jack has What It Takes, and Jack tells his mother he can't go get his dad. "You don't get to say 'I can't,'" she snipes. "Not after what you did." "Where is he?" a crestfallen Jack asks. Australia.

Walt runs to Kate to tell her that Claire collapsed. Mercutio and Charlie carry Claire under the canopy, and Kate gently brings her around while Mercutio steals her shoes. Charlie, looking for water, discovers that someone's ganked it all. When Kate tells Sayid and Locke, Locke volunteers to find water, saying, "I know where to look." Dude, on a verdant tropical island even I know where to look. Go to the head of a valley.

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