Newsroom
5/1

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 14 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Mayday

Let's sum up what just happened: MacKenzie will not let a perfectly fine anchor who is not baked off her ass report a well-sourced piece of information that every other outlet is reporting at this point because ACN's president contributed to a few deaths 20 years ago and can't deal with it still and MacKenzie would rather have a guy is barely coherent and just confused Obama with Osama tell the world what they already know instead. This is just fantastic professional journalism, you guys. Murrow used to go on the air after eating 18 pot cookies. Cronkite announced JFK's death three weeks after everyone else did while tripping on acid. Thank you, Sorkin, for giving us this gift of How the News Should Be Delivered.

Maggie doesn't have more than three seconds, yet finds several minutes to waste urging Jim to dump Lisa. "Are you kidding? I'm not doing it tonight!" Jim says. "You have to," Maggie orders; "you can't sleep with her again." Then she says "sexy" a bunch of times until Jim gives up and agrees to dump her. "Tell me what you're going to say," Maggie demands; "YOU NEED TO REHEARSE." Ugh, mind your own business. Maggie says rehearsals are important because the Spider-Man musical cast didn't rehearse enough and people died. Jim reminds Maggie that no, they didn't. No one died, idiot. If anyone did, the producers still wouldn't feel as guilty about it as Charlie does about those dead Israelis.

Lisa walks over and asks if she can talk to Jim. Alone. Maggie leaves and we all love Lisa for getting Maggie to go away. Before Jim can say anything, Lisa says that she realizes that when she said "I love you" to Jim, he only said it back so she wouldn't feel bad and that he's only been dating her because of this "forced fix-up" in the first place. She says he's so "nice" that he'd never dump her himself, which isn't nice so much as it is wimpy and wrong. It's not "nice" to stay with someone because you don't want to hurt her feelings by leaving. Grow up, Jim. Lisa dumps him. "I really did like you," he says. And then Lisa sees Maggie staring at them like a weirdo and figures she should talk to her next. But before she leaves: "Thanks for bringing me here for this." Yes, the magical night that she found out Osama bin Laden died. Unforgettable precious memories, those are.

Lisa tells Maggie she broke up with Jim. Maggie tries -- not very hard -- to look sad about this. Lisa says she did it, because she saw the look on Maggie's face when Jim told her he loved her. Maggie pretends she has no idea what Lisa is talking about. Or maybe she really has no idea what Lisa is talking about. She is very dumb. "I'm with Don," Maggie says. "I saw your face," Lisa says. So Maggie drags Lisa over to Jim and says Lisa seems to think that Jim has feelings for Maggie. Um, that's not what she said. Maggie continues that Lisa also seems to think that Maggie has feelings for Jim. Maggie demands that Jim say that none of this is true, as if that will convince Lisa otherwise. Jim and Maggie emphatically state that they do not have feelings for each other. Lisa laughs at them.

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Newsroom

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