Newsroom
Bullies

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Sara M: B | 13 USERS: B
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Lots of Love

As soon as the show's over, Will looks for Neal who is in charge of all things Internet, because that's how it works. Neal says the comments were "the best two" they had. MacKenzie runs in and says they have to "talk about what just happened." I'm sorry, did I miss something? What did just happen? Will read two comments and disagreed with them... so? MacKenzie says they have to read viewer comments on the air as per some agreement they made with Reese. "The page views offset the ratings drop," she says. Yes, and just look at what quality people are visiting NewsNight's website. Is that the fault of the Internet or is it the fault of NewsNight for being so unwatchable that only crazy people would bother to try?

Will asks if Neal knows if LollyPopLollyPop is 10 years old or a Basset Hound. This distracts MacKenzie, who decides to inform everyone about why Basset Hounds have long ears. They use them for hunting. She probably read that on the evil Internet website, Wikipedia. Neal says there is no way to know if LollyPopLollyPop is 10 or a dog. That's not true. I think we can pretty safely assume that LollyPopLollyPop is not a dog. Will thinks that the only people who bother to post comments on websites are people who are angry. Neal says the statistics support this. I disagree. I think only people who bother to post on NewsNight's website are angry, because this show must be maddening to watch. Finally, Will protests that he has to say things like "LollyPopLollyPop" and Walter Cronkite didn't. Well, Walter Cronkite also had fans. Will demands that the comment system be revamped so that whoever comments has to reveal his name, age, occupation and level of education. Because education automatically means intelligence and the right to speak to a member of the media elite like Will. "Anonymity is cowardice. You're lobbing smack from the cheap seats," Will says. Yes, as opposed to the expensive seats of people who pay 45 cents for a stamp to mail their comments along with copies of their driver's license or other government-issued photo ID?

MacKenzie asks how they can implement the kind of comments system Will wants. He turns to Neal, who is now a blogger and a web engineer and who says they would just have to implement a "third party verification service." MacKenzie is annoyed with Neal for telling the truth when he could have just claimed that there was no way to do that. But lying is WRONG, MacKenzie. Unless Will tells you to do it (spoiler alert!). Neal says they could put in the same system that the IRS uses when people file their taxes online. Yes, because commenting on Will's crap show is just as important as filing your taxes. "Talk to me, Tonto," Will says. Or maybe he's just reading off the name of another commenter. Neal says he can put in the third party verification system if Will wants, because it's that easy to change the website of a cable channel's code. Will says that this is a great idea because it will "ghettoize every other website," thus bringing "civility" to the "public square." I believe that was the Nazis' logic for putting Jews in ghettos, so this totally applies. "I'M GOING TO SINGLE-HANDEDLY FIX THE INTERNET!" Will proclaims. Totally. No one has ever scammed the IRS e-file system before. MacKenzie insists that they "talk about what just happened," whatever that was. Will says they will not.

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Newsroom

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