I'll Try To Fix You

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 61 USERS: C-
I'll Try To Lecture You

Will then heads to the meeting room, where his staff, cued by MacKenzie, throw cups of water at his face. They all laugh as if this were funny and not a great way to get fired and also surely this kind of frivolity is not appropriate for a place where such serious business as The News is done. Will asks why that just happened. MacKenzie says the staff thought it would be funny. They're still cracking themselves up as they take their seats. Even Jim, who managed to fill up his cup with water and throw it at Will while also calling a few sources. MacKenzie hands Will a towel, and he tries to explain himself and the Page Six article by saying he was on a mission to civilize because he's Don Quixote. "I'm Don Quixote!" MacKenzie says. Oh, Christ, not this shit again. Will asks if she's even read it. "In the original French," she says. Will notes that it was originally written in Spanish, which everyone knows. EVERYONE. Surely a Peabody-award winning producer would know this. This show is terrible.

MacKenzie calls the group's attention to the Whiteboard O'News and a list Jim compiled of stories the show either missed or didn't cover enough last year. Maggie angrily says that Jim didn't spend his entire New Year's Eve on the list, because she's mad at him for talking to her roommate. Meanwhile, Will is having trouble with continuity, since his shirt can't possibly maintain the same water stains across several takes and probably hours of filming. It's kind of fun to watch how it keeps changing. MacKenzie kicks off the list with the Chilean miners. Oh, seriously? We're actually going to do this? So now this show, which takes place IN THE PAST, is now covering news stories IN THE PAST PAST. I hope they cover a news story about themselves covering a news story!

Will and his quick-drying (except in the takes where it's drenched again) shirt quickly shoot down several ideas. Tess decides she'd rather not tell them hers. Will orders her to. "The iPad was released," Tess says. "Get the hell out of the meeting," Will says. "Yeah," Tess says, and tries to leave. Sadly for her, MacKenzie makes her come back. Tess rules. Spin-off for Tess, please. Ideally written by someone else. Will demands that they do stories about people who lied because the News never calls people out for lying. Jim has a story for Will: when the right wing claimed that Obama was spending $200 million a day on a trip to India. Will likes this. Maggie suggests they talk about how all the right wingers kept saying that Obama was going to take their guns away, even though he never said he would and never made any effort to do so. Apparently, liberals never lie or exaggerate. Only conservatives. Then again, Fox News exists, so it's hard to blame the liberals with that big white elephant in the room. All eyes turn to Neal for his input. "Bigfoot -- " he begins. The meeting is over.

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