Willie Pete

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 91 USERS: B
Snark Is the Idiot's Version of Wit
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We begin the show with more of Will's Republican-bashing. He shows clips of Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum talking about how great the troops are and then Captain Stephen Hill, currently serving in Iraq, asking them via YouTube if they'll prevent gays and lesbians like him from serving in the military if they are elected. A few people in the debate audience boo loudly.

Will says those audience members are in Orlando, but "soon they'll surely be in hell." Um, they're in Orlando, which is in Florida. So they already are. Will says he's sure that the members of that audience would cross-dress to get out of military service while Capt. Hill is desperate to stay in the military despite being gay. Because cross-dressing and being gay are totally the same! Anyway, what Will's really annoyed about is the fact that none of the candidates told the boo-ers to shut up, thereby making them "witless bullies and hapless punks." I think he might also be mad that Fox News got to show the Republican primary debate and not ACN, like he wanted last season. With that, he says goodnight to the three people still watching his show, which won't devote more than ten seconds to celebrity news but will spend five minutes being a lesser Maddow.

Also, Terry Smith is next with the Capital Report. I'm still waiting to see the awesomeness that is Terry Smith. I hope the show's been doing okay without Dantana around.

Once the show's over, MacKenzie asks Will to position himself half an inch back when he's looking at the keylight in the future. Will throws a hissy fit about this and basically refuses. MacKenzie's second request is that he not stare at his guests' ridiculous toupees. He won't agree to that, either. Diva.

And then MacKenzie asks him to tell her what he said on that message he left her last season while he was high, as she's apparently asked him every day since she found out about it. Will insists that he doesn't remember what he said. I hope we're not going back to this well. I was pretty happy leaving Season One back in Season One, weren't you?

Will heads into Charlie's office, where Charlie says he should've told "what's her name, the moderator" to "go fuck herself." I believe her name is Megyn Kelly, and that's disrespectful. Oh god, this show is making me defend Fox News. Will says he's "not allowed" to say things like that. Charlie says he is – "we're protected" because they have that recording of Reese admitting to phone hacking. Again with the Season One! None of this was referenced in the first two episodes of this season – why now? Also, what is Charlie doing wearing a regular tie and not a bowtie? Everything is different, but also the same.

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