Rock of Love

Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
3-13 Weecap	Pretty Pretenders and Negligent Vendors Reunion - Natasha gives Kelsey the beatdown, Ashley is drunk off her ass, at least two former contestants who are not Ashley have gone into rehab, Constandina sticks a sparkly third eye on Bret's bandana, and Riki Rachtman totally needs to buy Mindy a copy of Don't Call That Man!.	04.19.2009 04.20.2009	A	Potes
3-12 Weecap	The Battle of Who Could Care Less Bret's Rock of Love III - Taya doesn't even put out and STILL wins. What the French?	04.12.2009 04.13.2009	B+	Potes
3-11 Weecap	Funked Up Double Dates - Mindy's in a funk. Taya's in a funk. Jamie's just kind of funky. It's the final three, everybody!	04.05.2009 04.07.2009	B-	Potes
3-10 Weecap	Unhinged Melody Duet To Me One More Time - The girls write lyrics to a Bret Michaels song, and only one is clever enough to incorporate the word "skanks." Meanwhile, dull, catfights, dull, duller. Can someone please start a campaign to bring back Farrah and Ashley?	03.22.2009 03.23.2009	B	Potes
3-9 Weecap	Fool Brittanya Episode 9 - The girls' ex-boyfriends stop by to dish the dirt to Ambre and Heather. Brittanya takes this chance to assault Heather with fists and spit, so Bret decides her tour will stop here. Then he asks Ashley, whose ex is really not an ex at so much as a current boyfriend, if she's ready to have a relationship with him. She's not, so she goes, too.	03.15.2009 03.16.2009	B	Sara M
3-8 Weecap	Children of the Scorn Bikini Day Care - In an ongoing effort to corrupt our youth, Bret Michaels gives several children the babysitters of a lifetime.	03.08.2009 03.09.2009	A	Potes
3-7 Weecap	Speedbumping Uglies Truck Stop Games - The girls show their skills at belly flopping into a tub of beer and working the pole at the first annual Truck Stop Games. Meanwhile, Kami voluntarily gets off the bus, Kelsey learns that speedbumps are always there for you in tough times, and Taya's real name is Laurie!	03.01.2009 03.02.2009	A+	Potes
3-6 Weecap	Stuporbowl Episode 6 - It's Bret's annual Mud Bowl! Mindy is the MVP and quite possibly is devirginized as a reward. Bret gets some sad news on the road, and shows some common sense in realizing that a bus full of skanks is not the best environment for someone who's just lost a family member.	02.15.2009 02.16.2009	A-	Potes
3-5 Weecap	In With the New Episode 5 - Bret's not feeling a connection with any of the existing girls, so he adds three newbies to the tour. He then gets upset when everybody's totally fine with it, and the home viewing audience gets to bask in the glow of his crippling insecurity.	02.08.2009 02.09.2009	A	Potes
3-4 Weecap	Cheeseburger in Paradise Roadies - Ashley witnesses Beverly kissing Bret's drummer, requests a cheeseburger, then threatens to puke on your mom. All in a day's work.	01.25.2009 01.30.2009	A	Potes
3-3 Weecap	Pop Goes the Weasel Episode 3 - The girls hit the ice rink against Lacey and a team of female hockey players, which leaves Melissa with a popped implant and Brittaney with a reputation as a sock-stealer. Meanwhile, Beverly is no fun at all when her first date with Bret takes place in a strip club. Jerk.	01.18.2009 01.19.2009	A	Potes
3-2 Weecap	Bride of Skankenstein Episode Two - Bret has the girls write him some mock wedding vows, which some use as an opportunity to express their willingness to get tapped from behind, and Brittaney uses as an opportunity to begin the unveiling of her true crackhead self. Meanwhile, Constandina picks the wrong time to take a vow of chastity.	01.11.2009 01.12.2009	A	Potes
3-1 Weecap	The Best Dorito We've Ever Tasted Season Premiere - Two buses plus 20 skanks plus one aging rock star equals a tragic sort of amusement for us, the home viewing audience. In the premiere, we learn that life is hard on the road, as evidenced by one contestant nearly getting choked to death and another serving shots out of her vagina. True fact.	01.04.2009 01.05.2009	A	Potes
2-13 Recap	Reunited and It Feels Like a Punch to the Head Reunion - As Heather tries her best to give Daisy a concussion, Bret manages not to get dumped again on national TV.	04.20.2008 04.21.2008	A+	Potes
2-12 Recap	Bret's Rock of Love Bret's Rock of Love - Bret takes Ambre and Daisy to Cancun to determine who will be his rock of love, and someone learns the hard way that -- you guessed it -- even the rose of manufactured TV romance has its thorn.	04.13.2008 04.14.2008	A	Potes
2-11 Recap	Rockin' the Rents Rockin' the Rents - It's the second annual meet the parents episode! This time with 100% fewer accusations of dicksuckery. (Boo.)	04.06.2008 04.07.2008	B+	Potes
2-10 Recap	Bitter Suite Bitter Suite - Everyone hates Daisy. Well, everyone except for the one man who will forgive her anything she tells him if he can look down her shirt as she's saying it. In Vegas!	03.20.2008 03.31.2008	A+	Potes
2-9 Recap	Going to Ex-tremes Going to Ex-tremes - Heather's back, bitches, and she will get you drunk and make you tell her all about how you still live with your ex-boyfriend. If you're Daisy, that is.	03.23.2008 03.24.2008	A	Potes
2-8 Recap	Video Vixens Video Vixens - The girls shoot videos for two of Bret's new songs. Sadly, neither of them involves a waxen mannequin wearing a wig.	03.15.2008 03.17.2008	B+	Potes
2-7 Recap	Red, White, And A Little Blue Red, White, And A Little Blue - There's a lot of Kristy Joe drama, but everything pales in light of the fact that Daisy has apparently never heard the U.S. national anthem. And, in sad news for fishes everywhere, Inna Tuna is sent back to the sea.	03.01.2008 03.03.2008	A	Potes
2-6 Recap	Once A Cowgirl Once A Cowgirl - It's a bad day for the more mature set as Peyton and Catherine get the boot. At least they'll have that AARP magazine cover story to look forward to.	02.23.2008 02.24.2008	A	Potes
2-5 Recap	Mud Bowl II Mud Bowl II - Daisy is the MVP of the second annual Mud Bowl, which means Bret takes her on a special date to the Whore Store. Romance is alive!	02.16.2008 02.18.2008	A+	Potes
2-4 Recap	A Ride On The Wild Side A Ride On The Wild Side - A motorcycle challenge and '50s style pinup shoot are completely overshadowed by the fact that Aubrey took one too many hormone pills this week.	02.09.2008 02.11.2008	A	Potes
2-3 Recap	Stroller Derby Stroller Derby - Lacey's back in all of her baby-beating glory, and while Destiney and Daisy try to take out Kristy Joe, it is our precious Angelique who pays the price for loving to display the goods that God -- and a team of surgeons who got their medical degrees in, like, Bora-Bora -- gave her.	01.26.2008 01.28.2008	B+	Potes
2-2 Recap	Peepshow Peepshow - Note to self: When participating in a peepshow, try licking one's own boobs. And always know the difference between The Worm and The Shopping Cart. It might come in handy one day.	01.19.2008 01.21.2008	A	Potes
2-1 Recap	Premiere Premiere - We meet the 20...lovely?...ladies?...who want a crack at Jes's sloppy seconds. To be honest, it's all a little terrifying.	01.12.2008 01.16.2008	B+	Potes
1-12 Recap	Season 1 Reunion Season 1 Reunion - It's just like the DJ says: love's a game of easy come and easy go.	09.29.2007 01.14.2008	A	Potes
1-11 Recap	The Rose & The Thorn The Rose & The Thorn - As you well know, Jes wins. Er, "wins."	09.22.2007 01.13.2008	A	Potes
1-10 Recap	Meet The Parents Meet The Parents - Bret invites the parents of his final three to come stay at the house for a few days, and we learn why God invented television.	09.15.2007 01.11.2008	A+	Potes
1-9 Recap	Vegas Baby Vegas Baby - A trip to Vegas has the girls seeing Bret in concert and, in the case of Jes and Lacey, seeing things I don't even want to think about. Meanwhile, Brandi M. loves Bret, then she doesn't, then she does, and he just can't deal with it no more.	09.08.2007 01.10.2008	B+	Potes
1-8 Recap	Superfan Challenge Superfan Challenge - If Heather's wardrobe made you question her taste, wait until you see her get Bret's name tattooed on her neck.	09.01.2007 01.08.2008	A	Potes
1-7 Recap	Show Me Your Hits Show Me Your Hits - Brandi proves that not even a hot stripper can look good in a Willie Nelson beard as Bret gets an earful about Lacey. In the end, it's a mouthful that saves her, and Mia is sent home instead.	08.25.2007 01.08.2008	A	Potes
1-6 Recap	Tour Bus Challenge Tour Bus Challenge - Get on the bus, Gus! But only after you dig around in a dumpster for Bret's favorite guitar pick.	08.18.2007 01.07.2008	A	Potes
1-5 Recap	First Annual Bret's Mudbowl First Annual Bret's Mudbowl - While Jes gets to know Bret better, we learn that Erin possibly wants to "wait on" Justin Timberlake and Heather possibly "banged" Vanilla Ice. Bret, who has possibly lost his ability to flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, is perturbed.	08.11.2007 01.07.2008	B+	Potes
1-4 Recap	Riff It Good Riff It Good - The girls sing! It's really terrible, but at least it's better than Bret singing. And, sadly, it's the end of the legend that is Rodeo.	08.04.2007 01.03.2008	A	Potes
1-3 Recap	Motocross Motocross - The girls get down on some dirt bikes, while a nation prays for Dallas to knock a bitch out.	07.28.2007 01.02.2008	A	Potes
1-2 Recap	Talk Dirty To Me Talk Dirty To Me - Everyone is up in arms that Erin has a boyfriend. But she actually...oh, never mind.	07.21.2007 01.01.2008	A	Potes
1-2 Recap	The Casting Special The Casting Special - If you are looking to learn tricks you can do with fake boobs, you have found your Mecca.	06.30.2007 12.31.2007	B	Potes
1-1 Recap	Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time - In which Bret gets introduced to twenty-five pairs of giant breasts, and we all learn that if you chich you wadda.	07.14.2007 12.31.2007	A+	Potes