Behind The Music

Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | Grade It Now!
Her boyfriend's back and he's gonna be in trouble

Michael approaches Liz at the empty Crashdown. She's taking a break from cleaning the milkshake machine, in favor of a nice respite of refilling the sugar containers while thinking about cleaning the milkshake machine. Michael launches right in, asking Liz, "Do I need to be worried about this Billy guy?" Liz assures him that he doesn't, but Michael quizzes on, "Do you really think he missed his bus?" Liz believes that he did, asking Michael if he's ever missed a bus before. Michael starts to get mad: "No, because I don't take the bus. And I don't write songs. And I don't cook with freaking half-and-half!" The sugar containers explode. Sugar. Boyish temper. Everywhere. Liz freaks, "My dad is gonna freak," and Michael apologizes, "My powers are outta control!" In a very Regis kind of way. Michael keeps on to Liz, "She cooked him Italian food last night," and storms out as Liz begs, "Please don't do anything stupid! Or alien! Or both!" Hear that, Mr. Parker? ALIENS!

Strum, strum, strum, and Maria finally comes out of her room and tells Hal to "go to an F Major seven." He hopes that means sex. He then starts playing a little ditty, demanding, "Now let's see if you remember this one." Strim stram strum. Maria looks wistfully remembersome. She apologizes for her behavior earlier, and plays the impermeable Dead Kid Card, telling Hal that she freaked because "that guitar belonged to a friend of mine. His name was Alex. He died last year." Hal stops playing -- death is sad! -- and apologizes, asking if she and Alex ever wrote songs together. Maria explains, "We tried once, but I just don't partner well. You’re the only person I ever trusted in that way." Hal deduces that Maria was singing until Alex's funeral, but never since. He strums, calling this "a special night," and Maria begins to sing. Here are the words:

I wish I could-a read your mind
Words don't mean a thing
I've given you all my time
All you do is leave
If you were standing here in front of me
I know you would say
There's nothing oh, so precious as something that's gone away
And if there is a reason I just don't want to know
Why you feel the need to love me so
Only when you go
Only when you go

Michael skulks skulkily, looking into the house to see this display, and walks away from her house, car windows and fire hydrants bursting behind him, a bit more "Bittersweet Symphony" than whatever in the world this song is turning out to be. "Could-a"?

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