Behind The Music

Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | Grade It Now!
Her boyfriend's back and he's gonna be in trouble

Back at Maria's, Hal won't put down the damn guitar, and it makes him such a sensitive poet, doesn't it? She comes in and tells him he has to go, right now, and he asks, "Is this about Michael? Am I in the middle of something?" Maria assures Hal that it has nothing to do with him, and Hal retorts, "That's too bad." He admits that he missed his bus on purpose, having taken some old advice of "decide what you want in life and live it." Maria deems this advice "terrible," and Hal snips, "You gave it to me!" When she was thirteen. And he's used it as his driving ideology in life. I guess he didn't take Piece Of Advice #2 -- "I really like the Care Bears" -- to heart as well. Or else this would be a very different kind of episode. The "fun" kind, for example. Hal tells Maria he thinks that Michael is "stopping her from life." And from "this." And then he kisses her. And I'll bet she's missing that Michael "stopper" she's been taking for granted right about now.

Max, Michael, and Isabel watch as the Alienmobile from so long ago is dredged up out the flaming pit of obsolete plotlines, Isabel noting, "This is bad." Michael asks what Max plans on telling his father, and Max responds, "I'm not going to tell him anything. He doesn't trust me anyway." Michael asks just who Mr. Evans does trust, and Max launches a sloooow forty-five-degree turn of the head to look squarely at Isabel. And I'm sorry to belabor an obvious point here, but if my brother ever looked at my sister that way, you'd better believe I would have followed through with my plan to drive my car into a ditch and move to another planet as quickly as non-humanly possible.

Maria and Liz lie in Liz's bed together, mid-convo, Liz askink, "And then you kissed him?" Indeed she did. Liz clarifies that it was "just a kiss," but Maria thinks "maybe not." There was "passion," that kind of "woke [her] up." Liz: "Like Sleeping Beauty." Or poppers. But at least with the Disney reference, somebody else has been thinking like a thirteen-year-old. Maria thinks that sometimes she "pays a huge price for knowing Michael and knowing these aliens. It's like, I didn't think I'd end up here, dealing with this crap every day. I mean, I love Michael and I do sort of love this ridiculous soap opera, but I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm trapped and I'm never gonna get out. I mean, I didn't sign up for this." Liz: "Yes, you did. We all did." Maria: "I know." The amount of times I have had that verbatim conversation, with me playing the role of Maria and Sars playing the role of Liz (sorry, Sars) is just plain staggering. Read it again. It's really, really spooky. ["That's okay…but who's Michael in our version? UPN?" -- Sars]

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