Roswell
Crash

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Countdown to Ecstasy II: Nearly-Cancelled Boogaloo

Must end must end must end. Back in the Crashdown, Max and Michael enter the scene in full military regalia, informing BoyTess, "They're gonna kill him. He saw something he shouldn't have and they're going to get rid of him." BoyTess asks where they got the clothes, and Michael cryptically responds, "I've got a plan." They do that Batman transition line where she asks, "Who are you people?" and Michael good-guys, "We're the good guys." Max and Michael prepare to leave, Max asking Liz on the way out, "You know where to meet us?" She's on it: "Two hours." Since when was "two hours" a "where"? "You know where to meet us?" "Hammer." Exactly. Liz tells Max to "be careful," telling him not to get on a spaceship if there is one. Speaking of redemption, Michael apologizes to Maria for ever wanting her dead.

Recently-Occurring AFB. Max and Michael use their fake IDs to get onto the base, Max in a fetching beret and convincing suit. He approaches the door behind which Colonel Griffin sits in potato sack, telling the guards in front of the door, "I'm here for him." They ask who he is, he shouts his way into the room, yelling, "None of your damn business, soldier! Eyes front! Don't look at me!" No eye contact, either? He really is exactly like Tom Cruise. London Fog, meanwhile, slides his access card and enters an off-limits room, walking down a flight of metal stairs and through a room with biohazard-clad scientists doing mysterious things. He happens upon a black cone of some kind, which he picks up and pockets, continuing on his way. Is that really London Fog? I don't think it is. No! It's Michael in the London Fog jacket and face. He tells Michael that "there's a ship," and they walk past Military Man, who is at that moment informed that there's a Code Eight in effect. The black cone is missing! Seriously, what the hell is going on? Military Man notes "a breach," and we cut to London Fog in a van on The Scoping Fjords of Sandy Land, turning back into Michael. Military Man, meanwhile, unearths a gun and walks back into Colonel Griffin's room, shooting him in the face without bothering to remove the potato sack. But uh-oh! He's really shot London Fog, a victim of fashion and a victim of death.

Back in the desert, Max drives the van off the base. Griffin is in the back of the van, and Michael tells him that they're on their way to meet BoyTess. Griffin asks who they are, and Michael merely offers, "The cavalry." Griffin sums up that they'll be "running," and they pull up to Max's car for the big reunion. Max changes the color of the van and tells them to be on their way, and they've barely kicked the ignition into gear when Liz starts the wrap-up: "Well, that was different. Saving someone else's bacon for a change." Ew. Don't say "bacon" anymore.

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Roswell

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