Roswell
Harvest

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Children Of The Corny

Another mental vacation to the sovereign nation of Grainy Black-and-White Flashback overtakes Tess inside of Chez Dead Whitaker, when she picks up a picture of the Congressgal and goes back in time to her kidnapping in "Surprise." Mrs. Dead Whitaker skulks in and offers, "Penny for your thoughts." Tess asks about young Whitaker. Mrs. Dead Whitaker reports that she was "wonderful." She smiles too happily. This is the shortest death-in-the-family grieving period that has ever, ever been.

Outside, Lizbot walks solemnly alone on the streets of Frontierland. Max catches up with her and is all kingly pompousness, telling her they weren't supposed to go anywhere alone. And so Max decides it's time for another round of that thing they call ACTING (if by "ACTING" you mean "SHOUTING"), telling her "what I saw can't be true because it means everything I felt in my heart for the last year is a lie." She asks him to quit shouting, claiming to be "scared." He continues on, all seventh-grade-play-audition, "What the hell is going on, Liz? We never lie to each other." Liz retorts that she and Kyle "made love" (as opposed to the radically updated "making whoopie," clearly nixed by squeamish censors), and Max walks away all sad. No love for Max. No making love, neither.

Isabel makes herself bizarrely comfortable for someone staying in the room of a woman reported dead to her family yesterday, spilling her toiletries out all over a bureau. From behind her, Gage makes an appearance and begins spilling it to Isabel that he had planned to visit his sister in Washington next year. Isabel asks Gage how much time he spent with his sister, and he lets her know, "When she'd visit, she'd make time." She told him stories about a world beyond Copper Summit, "stories about this planet in another galaxy, and how there was this war going on. Like a revolution." Hey, that information was pretty easy to come by, eh? I guess they're sprinkling a layer of pay dirt over the topsoil these days, so quickly is essential information communicated rapid-fire-style in this unstoppable plot. Not like they could have taken one second to develop this relationship previously in the episode, as they needed instead to attend to that essential sequence earlier on called "twenty-minute still frame of people standing in front of a red mailbox." But anyway. Isabel hazards unwisely, "Did she ever mention Vilandra?" Gage wants to know where's she's heard that name, and Isabel responds that "Vanessa told me some stories, too." Unwise, I'm thinking. Tess barges in and Gage takes off, and Tess starts right in: she just found out that Whitaker was adopted, leading Isabel to surmise that the rest of the family might be human. Or they might have supersonic hearing that would allow them to hear interlopers talking of matters private and life-threatening IN THEIR HOUSE. Idiots. Oh, also, the Universal Friendship League is just a simple civic organization, "like the Elks." They're handling all of the arrangements for Whitaker's funeral, so no one has seen the body. Endless, thumb-twiddling pause. Wonder what's going on with that mailbox.

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Roswell

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