Episode Report Card
Djb: D | Grade It Now!
Parental Guidance Suggested

Hey, wanna hear another joke? Okay, here goes: How come Liz's favorite subject is biology? Because when it comes to acting, she has absolutely no concept of CHEMISTRY! Tee hee! Stop me, I've got a million of 'em. Hey, where you folks from? Good to see you. Anyway, Max accosts Liz in the hallway and the subsequent exchange is, I think, meant to be even more awkward than their usual encounters. Unable to flirt or be flirted with, Liz points the compass plotward and brings up that ol' "Maria-Isabel thing." Liz wants Max to make Isabel stop traumatizing Maria (yeesh -- I'm on ensemble-cast red alert here), and Max distractedly agrees to do so. Maria tells Max she really thought he had something else to say, which he denies. But we know that's not true, now, don't we? Or maybe we don't.

Having procured the most ideal locale in which to loudly discuss the fact that they're aliens, Max, Michael, and Isabel congregate on an outdoor patio swarming with people. Max tells Isabel that she should try to make an effort with Maria, telling her that "people see movies with aliens. Aliens killing humans. Evil aliens. Green aliens. You keep acting that way with Maria and she'll think that's what we are." Isabel thinks that idea is just fantastic, as it will keep Maria in check and too wary to cross them. Michael, oblivious to the fact that this conflict provides a war-chest of neuroses for him to worry his destitute self silly about, quickly resorts to last week's unshocking shock tactics. He produces the "oh, that is SO Episode Two" key filched from Porno's office and tries to make this plot thread appear vital and interesting. It is not. Duh, aliens. Of course it "unlocks the door" to your ambiguous past. It's a KEY! Could the symbolism be any MORE transparent? Perhaps when Michael figures out what to do with it, a light bulb will appear above his head and switch on with a "ding!" Then they'll all walk down a dark road with a bright, shining light at the end of it. And the whole process will no doubt be very subtle indeed.

Back in Renee's office, Liz is explaining her passion for science and why she's so hell-bent on pursuing it as a career: "The world is this incredibly mysterious place, and science is just this way of figuring it out. With science, there are answers to everything. Facts." Renee slyly accuses Liz of being a control freak, which I didn't know she was, and derides her inability to "take life as it comes." Jeez, Renee, way to derail a girl's dreams of having a master plan and becoming a scientist; now when she gets home and tells her parents she's also considering the vocations of "crack fiend" and "shoe sprayer in a bowling alley," you'll know you've done your part in setting poor, misguided Liz on the track to total anarchy.

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