Episode Report Card
Djb: C- | Grade It Now!
Death Becomes Them

Max, Michael, and Isabel "Time To Call Your Agent…It's The Same Number As Maria's" Evans hide out in The House The Government Subsidy Built, worrying about being aliens. Michael frets that Porno still hasn't shown up, and Isabel coughs up her one line about needing to go "back in there." Knock knock knock. It's only Kyle, and he asks where his dad has gone to. Max counsels that they need to "go in now," and Isabel breaks it to Kyle that they think his dad is in trouble. Are they about to be found out? What a strikingly innovative plot they've come up with this week.

Chrissy and Liz, underage Catholic school girls, lean against a dirty mattress in an attic with a flask of liquor between them. If they're not exceedingly careful, a Calvin Klein photo shoot might accidentally flare up right there where they sit. Chrissy asks after Max, who Liz responds is "such a big part of my life, you don't even understand." Chrissy asks if Liz would like to talk about it, and Liz volunteers only that "it's complicated." But she tries anyway: "He was with this other girl." Chrissy tries to coin some street language, asking, "He stepped out?" Shut up, white girl. Liz keeps right on going, explaining, "She got pregnant." Chrissy can't believe that she would have stayed with him, claiming, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Which, come on. It's true. But to Liz it's not that simple. "There's all this stuff that you don't know about." Chrissy says that everything else is just rationalization for the fact that boys always treat girls like crap. Chrissy throws open the window to the Rat and inexplicably yells, "I am not afraid! Screw guys who cheat!" Liz cries along in agreement, "I! Am fine! On my own!"

Max wears a black turtleneck and thinks about asking people if they want to touch his monkey. Trust me, Max. They so don't. Kyle tells Max he has to stay outside while they go in to save Porno, offering him the directive to call Hanson if they're not back by dawn. Cut to a shot of Isabel sneaking out of the house, and a shot of Jesse running to the window to watch her leave that I totally, totally missed the first time I watched this episode. This episode just got docked a half a grade. Cut to inside Meta-Chem, where Max walks in on a tied-up Porno. Max radios to Michael that they've got Porno, but on their way out of the building, gunshots rain from nowhere again and Porno goes down. Max, giving it away like it's Christmas candy, heals Porno in a flash. They look a lot like they want to, er, dabble, but only for a moment. For just as they threaten to consummate their healing, Morgan Fairchild steps in and notes, "So you're the healer. You have no idea how long we've been looking for you." Men with guns surround them. Because we've just learned how threatening guns are to Max.

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