Roswell
Spaced Out!

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Southwest Side Story

From the people who brought you Forget Your Troubles, Come on Get Real, The Practice on Ice, and numerous other hit Broadway musicals based on popular MBTV shows too numerous and downright fabulous to mention here, comes the musical sensation Spaced Out!, a song-and-dance spectacular based on the WB's rip-roaring, follies-worthy dance fest called Roswell.

Spaced Out! stars a veritable Who's Who of veteran musical talent, including Jack Wagner as Max, Barbra Streisand as Maria (and Maria's mother!), Nathan Lane as Michael, Madonna as Isabel, the guy who played the cop in The Village People as Porno, Antonio Banderas as swashbuckling athlete of the week Kyle Valenti, Jonathan Frakes as (surprise!) himself, and Small Wonder's stiff and monotone Vicki the Talking Robot as Liz, in a career reinvigorating role closely resembling John Travolta's star turn in Pulp Fiction.

Laughs! Tears! Mysterious orbs! Um, more mysterious orbs! Behold Spaced Out!, the smash Broadway musical, and see why national publications such as the Oklahoma City Food Lion Coupon Circular raves, "Djb has finally lost it. And you've got front row seats!"

Act I, sc. I

[The curtain rises on a typically overtheatrical, campy Broadway reimagining of the inside of the Crashdown café. The color scheme is blindingly bright, the food is consumed completely in exaggerated mime, and the waitresses roller skate from table to table. They serve said mimed cuisine to appreciative tables full of cookie-cutter dork caricatures (who would be known on their résumés as "character actors," an expression which, in LA as well as New York, is sadly just synonymous with "fat"), eating in mimed unison to the jaunty accompaniment. After these establishing moments of choreographed pandemonium, the music begins to slow, the waitresses skate off, and the diner patrons gradually move into a freeze. From seeming nowhere skates one waitress, who moves to center stage. A spotlight frames her as the music swells with that I-want-to-be-where-the-people-go pathos, popularized by every cloying Disney movie, hackneyed Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, and just plain ol' unwatchable CBS Christmas special on ice. With a melancholy turn of phrase, the waitress begins to sing.]

< B>Song: Shot In The Tummy With Love

Liz:
Oh, I work all day in this diner
Where "spacy" is the golden rule
I cook and I clean, and then I cook and cook and clean
I don't think I even really go to school

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Roswell

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