Spaced Out!

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Southwest Side Story

My life is fine, I'd say, but so predictable
I pray nightly for some lofty cause to join
'Cause I'd a feel a sense of strife, if the future of my life
Was serving burgers to fat Trekkies from Des Moines

If my life could be a little more important
If monotony would just give fate a shove
My personality, it screams, "Take me away, man of my dreams!"
And let me get shot in the tummy
With love

[The beat picks up once more and the lights slowly begin to rise. The patrons resume eating and the other waitresses skate back out onto the floor. But the focus remains decidedly on Liz, who skates from table to table, serving portion after gigantic portion of mimed, invisible food. De-LIC-ious! She continues on.]

There was a time when I would tell you, "Nothing's out there!"
I'm happy with my Slackjaw dad, just slingin' hash
My grades were high, my profile low, the touch of boys I dared not know
Nothing new into my life I thought should crash

But as time went by, I wondered what the world held
I looked above me, sought an answer in the skies
But my brain did cease its touring, when even heaven found me boring
The moon and stars, still they ignore my 'scapist cries

If my life could have a little more excitement
Some as-yet-undetermined presence from above
Oh, if true love someone would bid me, it'd rocket through my lungs and kidney
Why can't I be shot in the tummy
With love?

[The spotlight disappears completely as Liz serves some more orders. She skates back to the counter where the cooks mime putting out finished orders, and as she turns around briefly, her attention freezes at the door. As the accompaniment briefly changes to a wailing sax and the stage is temporarily bathed in a carnal red light, Max [Jack Wagner] and Michael [Nathan Lane, something of a -- nudge nudge -- "character actor" in his own right] stroll in. Liz looks on as they saunter to an empty table. Max sits on the side of the booth facing Liz, and he briefly glances at her before opening the menu and holding it intentionally over his face. Another waitress skates up behind Liz and speaks.]

Hey, kid. Quit your daydreamin' and back to work with you!

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