Roswell
Wipeout!

Episode Report Card
Djb: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Should I Stay Or Should I...JUST GO

Everyone seems to instinctively know to reassemble in that room at that moment, except for Courtney (dying, granolith) and Porno (vanished, Walken), and Tess tells them all, "They found the way in. We gotta go." Max demands that Kyle go fetch Porno, and Kyle responds, of course, that he can't, seeing as "he disappeared right in front of" him. Liz accurately notes that the Skins' "time dimension is catching up with" the humans. Just in time, Kyle notices a rack of postcards in the middle of the room, one of which contains a picture of the billboard not sporting the Greenis we have come to accept as a fact of alien-phallus-life. He notes that that must be where the energy field is coming from (oooookaaaaay?), and announces that he's heading out there. Max tells him that they need to stick together, and Kyle gets the kick-ass line of the episode, of course, snarking in King Max's general direction, "Hey, I've been really nice about following your orders, Señor Presidente, but if I can do something to help bring some people back or ensure Liz, Maria, and I live to see another day, I'm gonna do it." Señor Presidente. Nice. Still, though, the postcard-as-discovery-agent is a little farfetched, don't you think? Max beckons Kyle back and tells him the best way to go without getting "boxed in." Kyle writes, "Having a grating time, wish this weren't so contrived" on the postcard and mails it to the producers. Had to do something legitimate with it, after all. Michael and Maria share a non-emotional hug. Left with just the three of them, Max begins to outline his plan for himself, Tess, and Michael before looking toward an empty corner of the room and asking, "Where's Courtney?" Michel purses his lips and looks away, which means he is either guilty or concerned. Or confused, unhappy, satisfied, satiated, bewildered, astonished, gleeful, weepy, morose, rueful, dispirited, blissful, gladdened, joyful, overwhelmed, depressed, jocund, blithe, rueful, happy, despondent, or dead.

Isabel's hands are securely fastened by handcuffs to the ceiling of the Short Bus, as Gage sits beside her and stares at her adoringly. Isabel tells him that she came "to make a deal," and Gage responds, "We have you, you beautiful moron." Wow. That is a pretty accurate description of what she's been reduced to, isn't it? She responds that he doesn't understand, and Gage sends Femullet out of the bus so the conversation can continue in private. Isabel transparently tells him that she remembered something from her past the last time they got together in Copper Summit. He believes her and dissolves the handcuffs. Seriously, no wonder his entire idiot race is on the brink of extinction. She starts to lean in to kiss him (oh, God), but throws him down at the last second, and Gage relies on Femullet to run in and make the save, waving a hand and knocking Vilandra out. She tells Gage that she was only trying to save him, but he continues to believe that Isabel "was no threat." Femullet asks what he wants to do next, and he undramatically intones, "Kill every last one of 'em." You guys, was this episode two hours long? No? Five? Yeah, I thought so.

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Roswell

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