Roswell
Wipeout!

Episode Report Card
Djb: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Should I Stay Or Should I...JUST GO

Kyle drives down Stock Footage Highway as Maria rants in full-on first-season wacky mode about how her life is going to change when they all finally get out of this. Liz bemoans the fact that she "walked out on [Max] without explaining" what went on with Kyle. This detached ranting indicates that it might finally be time for Liz's disappearing act. Well, we'll just keep it real loose on our definition of "act." Liz looks around with a forlorn look of "Disappearing? That I can do. Act? What am I, Houdini?" and a noise from the back seat prompts Maria to turn around and find it empty. I guess there was only the long green for one actual on-camera disappearance. Anyway, Liz is gone. Whee! Kyle and Maria pull up in front of the Greenis billboard as Maria freaks about Liz's disappearance. Kyle and Maria remember that Liz said something about needing to mess with the electrical current of the Greenis, and Kyle stares back at an imploring Maria and volleys, "Why are you looking at me? We were both in the same remedial science class for three years." They neatly decide that they have to "blow its fuse" (heh), and Maria retreats to the car to snag some jumper cables as Kyle notes an approaching Skin with angry, angry intents. Kyle rears back and screams, "Buddha, forgive me, but I'm gonna kick your ass!" A brief fight ensues, in which Kyle product-places The Club right off the steering wheel and smashes it into the Husk Button. Which, infomercials be damned, is pretty much the only thing The Club is good for in the first place. Killing Skins. Then Kyle disappears. Darn.

Courtney is lying outside of a broken-down motel, I think (where the hell are we?), her face a blue and purple veiny mess and her teeth turning blacker by the moment. Gage saunters up and repeats in the exact same faux-pompous cadence with which he says absolutely everything, "When my soldiers told me what they found, I had to see it for myself." He asks where her new friends are, and when she refuses to provide the necessary information, he puts his hand on her head and sees a flash of Max ordering everyone else to leave to the UFO Center and head toward the school. But she knows something else, he determines. What? What could it be? Flash to Michael, telling Courtney in an extreme close-up on Big Honker Cam, "If anything happens to me, Max, or Tess, I want you to be able to save yourself. Now, if I tell you where the granolith is, do you swear never to tell anyone?" She swears. Gage smiles. But just as he goes back to playing head games (har har har) to find its location, Courtney, er, presses her own button (which is supposed to be much healthier for women than not doing it every once in a while) and Buffies herself right out of existence. Gage is impressed: "Now that's a soldier."

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Roswell

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