A Door Marked Exit

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 72 USERS: A-
In the Wind
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open with a flashback to Sally confronting Daniel Douglas over the photos of him and James en flagrante. Sally is furious with her husband for betraying her, their marriage, and their future, especially when she was so close to having her dreams realized. Daniel Douglas assures her that no one knows except James and Cyrus, and Sally already said that Cyrus won't go public because it's his husband. Sally argues that James was "poison fruit" and Cyrus will want vengeance, and DD has "released a snake into [their] garden." I would argue that he released his snake into James's garden, if you know what I'm saying. Sorry. Not sorry.

Sally changes tactics and scolds DD for his "perversion," but DD argues back that Sally knew what she was getting into when they married. Sally denies it, but DD says that she knew in college when she saw DD with "that boy across the way" but she didn't care because she was "Shrill Sally the rich debutante" and "couldn't get a husband" and she needed "a handsome man on [her] arm" who could "put up with [her] aspirations." And DD needed his family to not disown him, so he went along with their sham of a marriage. So DD claims that he put up with all the fish fries and town hall meetings, and he got her to the Vice Presidency.

Sally gasps and sputters and says that DD didn't get her where she is. She rants, "You are the burden that I carry on my back as I make my way to salvation. You are my cross to bear. You are my original sin. You are pretty, and stupid, and you can't make a living to save your life. What you have given me is our daughter, who can't keep her knees together. I suffer YOU! I got myself here. And I am taking myself to the Promised Land! I cannot wait until you meet your maker. I cannot wait until you are charged with your lies!" This entire speech is intercut with Sally stumbling around post-murder, in a stupor.

Daniel Douglas pauses to be sure that Sally is done with her rant and then says simply, "I'm done." He adds that he has the one thing Sally can't buy: a set of balls. So maybe he'll find a nice boy and settle down, or maybe he'll do a tell-all interview. He turns to leave and Sally grabs a letter opener from the desk and stabs his three times in the back. This leads to the scene we saw at the end of the previous episode, except this time we see that Sally's face is covered in blood spatter as she calls Cyrus and says that she's committed a sin. You know, despite all that Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf-style arguing and, you know, the murder, I kind of want a spin-off of Sally and Daniel Douglas in college. Unfortunately, the perfect person to play Sally the college co-ed is Liza Weil, and she's already been on the show in another part.

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