We Do Not Touch the First Ladies

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 22 USERS: A-
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Jake, Tom the Secret Service Agent, and a number of other Secret Service agents stand in a hotel hallway, pretending not to listen while Olivia and Fitz have a screaming match inside the hotel room. Even more awkward, they're screaming because Fitz doesn't want Jake outside their room. Jake tries to make small talk with Tom. What a trooper.

Inside the hotel room, Fitz and Olivia are getting dressed. So, wait. Liv had Jake deliver her to a hotel room and then wait outside while she has sex with Fitz? The balls on that lady. Seriously. She claims she needs him there to throw off reporters, and Fitz says she wants him there. Does she, Fitz? Does she want him to stand outside while you bone her? You're the one boning her while he stands outside awkwardly with the Secret Service, so what is your problem? Anyway, Fitz compares Jake to "a fox in [his] henhouse" and Olivia spits: "I am not a HEN. And my HOUSE is not yours." I think by house, she meant vagina.

The framing of this scene is ridiculous since they are trying to hide Kerry Washington's pregnancy. I think wardrobe is not going her any favors by trying to still put her in fitted suits with peplums, as that's just advertising that her waist is growing. Anyway, Liv yells about Fitz making an enemy of her father, and Fitz yells that he used to trust Jake, so he put him in charge of B613, but now he's compromised. Dude, Jake was in love with Liv WAY before you put him in charge of B613. And frankly, you're the one who forced Jake into Liv's life in the first place. So, as my kids' preschool teacher says, zip it and lock it and put it in your pocket.

Fitz insists that Jake is going to fight for and try to win Liv, and Liv tells him that not only is she not a hen, she's also not a prize that can be won. They keep yelling back and forth until Fitz snarls, "Will you just shut up and let me talk?" Ohhh-kay. I don't know about y'all, but I would never be with a person who talked to me like that, even in anger, even in a fight. Because that right there shows a basic lack of respect and/or inability to manage anger and/or lack of impulse control. I would run out the door and never look back. Liv is taken aback.

Fitz tries again and says more calmly that Liv brought Jake on, and he knows she did it for Fitz, or because Mellie made him think she was doing it for him. Liv screams at him: "I didn't do this for you! I didn't do this for YOU. I did this for me, so I could work on the campaign, so I could walk down the street and not be whispered about. So I could stop being known as the woman who screwed the President, so the scarlet A on my chest could be invisible, so I'm not a JOKE. I am a person. I am not a hen. I am not a prize. And I have a business to run, people to support, a life to lead, a DESIRE to wake up and face myself in the mirror every day. Oh, and once? I fixed a Presidential election, and I'd like a chance to right that wrong. Your wife may be many things but on ONE thing we are united. I cannot win a Presidential election if I am your public WHORE." Wow. That was quite a speech. While I've learned not to get too invested in any scene where Liv and Fitz seem to be breaking up, I did like a few things that Liv said there. One is that she recognized that she's making bad choices (can't look at herself in the mirror). One is that she recognizes that she has a responsibility to the people who work for her, unlike Fitz who doesn't seem to give a shit. And mostly, I like that now we know her motivation to continue working on the campaign. It's not so much that she wants Fitz to be President again; it's that she feels like if she can get him elected legitimately, it will make up for getting him elected illegally. I don't know that I agree with her moral gymnastics, but it does make more sense than, at this point, claiming that she thinks Fitz is a great man who should be elected.

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