My Princess

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1 USERS: B
My Princess Bride

JD, Cox, Carla, Turk, and Shirley (the former Laverne) are all talking by the desk about whether JD needs to buy Sam some clothes when The Todd comes up and make a gross remark as he is wont to do. JD explains via voiceover that they've discovered that if they all freeze when The Todd makes one of his comments, he eventually gets confused and leaves. And The Todd does just that. Cox says that he, like one-hit wonder Natalie Imbruglia, is torn. I used to love that video. I convinced myself that the dude in the video was Will from Alias. This was before the advent of YouTube, so I hadn't seen the video in years. I was totally wrong, by the way. Anyway, Cox is torn over whether Carla and Turk are right, and JD needs to buy Sam some clothes, or Carla and Turk are delving further into becoming an "annoying two-headed know-it-all." Turk and Carla make sound effects to indicate how Cox's hate is bouncing off their love. And then Kelso shows up (WTF? I thought he retired? Why is this out of order?) and tells everyone that they need to stop working overtime, or they'll be sent home and docked a full day's pay.

Elliott has a beautiful young female patient and she can't figure out what's wrong with her, so she's running more tests. The patient has faith in Elliott. Keith shows up and is really nice to Elliott, which impresses JD. Elliott explains that Keith is still "alternating between angry name calling and whiny pleas to get back together." But he's agreed to be civil while he's inside the hospital. Cue Elliott's cell phone; it's Keith calling from outside the hospital, sobbing. JD remembers that a month ago, Elliott was going to marry Keith and he was going to move in with Kim. A month ago? Damn, the strike really messed up the timeline here. Anyway, JD says everything fell apart when he and Elliott almost kissed. Elliott doesn't think it was any big deal, plus accuses JD of trying to kiss her, as if she had no part in it. JD makes a "what the hell" face but is upset that no one is around to see it.

JD tries to talk to Cox about his Elliott problem, but Cox doesn't care. Two interns start playing diagnosis Jeopardy, where you read the description of a disease or condition and then guess the disease. JD manages to guess "Foreign Accent Syndrome" and then does a truly terrible Cockney accent, followed by an even worse Australian accent, which he misidentifies as Irish. Cox leaves, disgusted.

And eventually goes home to see Jordan and Jack, who are at least pleased to see him. Jordan reminds Cox that it's his turn to tell Jack a story, which Cox reluctantly does. He starts out, "There was once a nurse (Carla), a surgeon (Turk), a doctor (Elliott), and an idiot (JD, in a hat that he thinks makes him look fly)." Jordan doesn't think hospital stories are appropriate, so Cox starts over: "There was once a two-headed witch (Turk and Carla, melded into one person), a princess (Elliott in full Buttercup mode), and a village idiot (JD, in a jester's outfit, asking if his hat makes him look flyeth)."

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