My Waste of Time

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
One Ball to Rule Them All

So my episode of Scrubs started with an episode of ER, but not even the beginning of ER, but like the middle of an episode. And it's the non-HD feed and I'm watching an HD channel. At first, I thought it was a clever ruse by the Scrubs writers and was waiting for JD and Turk to walk into County General, but I think someone just screwed up, and from reading the forums, people in other parts of the country had the same issue so I can't even blame my local affiliate. So anyway, I missed the first minute or so of the episode. But the weirdest part is that the captioning is from Scrubs, but I'm only getting parts of the sentences.

So anyway. From what happens later in the episode, I'm guessing that Elliott was telling Cox, as the new Chief of Medicine, that she's trying to locate a patient who used a drug called Plumox. Cox needs to go "hold Jordan's claw" while their daughter has her shunt removed, and plus this is an inherited problem, so he suggests that Carla call Kelso. She does. Kelso laughs for like twenty minutes. Isn't that the greatest feeling? When you finally leave a stressful job, and then they call you about something, and you can just laugh? Or ask them to pay you a consulting fee for your expertise? Good times.

Janitor is holding a meeting of the Brain Trust, a club that includes Ted, The Todd, and Doug. Ted wonders if it's okay for them to just take the office, and Janitor says that since he's planted a flag, it's his. He used this method to claim his parking space, a dead possum, and Doug's sandwich. Doug lifts up his sandwich to reveal a tiny flag poking from it. It must be fun to work in the props department on this show.

JD and Turk are in the locker room. Turk says he stood up to Carla today, and JD thinks "that must have took a lot of ball." Because Turk had his ball removed? Remember? Also, both men are in towels in this scene, and I really did not need to see that much man nipple, and I especially did not need to see Zach Braff's backne. Anyway, Turk reports that's he's getting a ball implant (The Neutical? Like they make for castrated dogs?) even though no one notices, but Carla wants him to get it. JD fantasizes a trip to Ball-Mart to pick out Turk's fake ball. They have one with a diamond stud, and one that says "I'm with Stupid" and an arrow. Turk finds one that has a thermostat that doubles as a hand warmer. JD thinks that would come in handy on their upcoming ice fishing trip. Cut to Cox, The Todd, and JD freezing their asses off after falling into freezing water, so they all snuggle up around Turk's fake ball. When they return home, JD has a burn mark on his face, and The Todd has one on his face and also on his hand. When JD snaps out of it, he decides to stop with the long fantasies, because they're never worth it. Oh, aren't they? Maybe that's a reference to next week's finale, which I assume is almost entirely fantasy.

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