Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B+
The Hardy Whores Do Dallas

...This Week's Motel Room. My Battered Baboo recuperates on one of the beds as Sam tends to Father Rough And Ready's many, many wounds. Meanwhile, Dean bolts for the door. "Where ya goin'?" Suspicious Sammy asks. "Just gonna grab some clean bandages out of the trunk," Dean LIES, and with that, he peels off into this evening's final METAL TEETH CHOMP! "Are we done yet?!" We are not. "Rats! [Slurp!]"

Dean drives. Drive, Dean, drive! Driving, driving, driving, driving, and...oh, I want to kill myself. Remember Bendy Lisa from the THEN!? "I do not!" Quiet, you. "Hee! [Slurp!]" ANY-way, here she is, and this scene feels so random and tacked-on that I won't begin to attempt to interpret it, so here are the basic facts: Dean's driven all night to surprise Bendy Lisa with this completely unexpected visit and, after some pointless small talk, he confesses his undying love for her and their son, and promises to "make arrangements" for the two of them so they might avoid the "trippy" "bad" "crap" that's about to engulf the planet. "Whatever happens, you're gonna be okay," he vows. "What are you talking about?" Bendy Lisa asks, more than a little freaked out by this entire and entirely bizarre encounter. "The people that I'm gonna see next," Dean tells her, "they're not gonna get anything from me without agreeing to a few conditions." I think that's a DUN!, but I stopped caring about this episode way back during the third goddamned scene, so to hell with it. Bendy Lisa's still not sure what's going on -- like, join the frigging club, lady -- but she wisely senses that Dean's about to make a huge mistake, and she begs him to reconsider. Alas, Our Intrepid Idiot has made up his mind, and so Bendy Lisa's pleas are all for naught. He kisses her one last time -- I think, 'cause he might actually be whispering something into her ear -- and then he heads back to the Impala, and we finally -- FINALLY -- fade to black.

Thank God that shit's over with -- I'd like a drink! "It's about time!" Oh, that's nice. Feel like handling the preview for this show's hundredth episode, Raoul? "No!" Good enough for me. See you next week! "Kisses! Kisses to all my pretties!"

Demian is having a cocktail. Raoul is already half in the bag. "[Hic!]" You may reach the former at The latter is an imaginary gay dragon still under house arrest on the Internet.

We'd love to see the Hardy Boys hit the road in a stage show in a town near us. See our ideas.

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