Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B+
The Hardy Whores Do Dallas

Oh, yes: Father Rough And Ready babbles on about mawwiage while Our Incredulous Heroes mutter and murmur to themselves over how asinine it is to find themselves stuck in this church a mere five episodes away from this season's no doubt awe-inspiring finale. At their side, the most diminutive of their earlier saviors makes some dismissive mocking noises of his own until this ridiculous scene ends as abruptly as it had begun, and the next thing we know, Father Rough And Ready's sidling on up to Sam and Dean to smile, "So Rob tells me you boys hunt demons!" The Tightassed Ginormotron's all prim and polite with the proper "Yes, sir!" and such until Father Rough And Ready sardonically notes, "You missed a few." Sam visibly unclenches thanks to Father Rough And Ready's gently mocking manner, and the three chat about the sudden profusion of demonic nests in the area for a bit until Father Rough And Ready invites them for a look-see down in the church's community hall, where they find a couple dozen flannel-clad Renegade Lutherans brewing up some holy water and filling shotgun shells with rock salt and whatnot. "Everybody pitches in," Father Rough And Ready explains. "So...the whole church?" Sam guesses. "The whole town," Father Rough And Ready clarifies. "A whole town full of hunters?" Dean marvels. "I don't know whether to run screaming or buy a condo." Father Rough And Ready pointedly ignores Dean's attempt at humor and shrugs, "Well, the demons were killing us. We had to do something." Sam wonders why the town didn't "call in The National Guard," partly because he's suddenly become a great big fifteen-foot-tall moron with drool oozing out of the side of his mouth, but mainly because the script dictated he allow Father Rough And Ready an opportunity to note that he and his congregation have been directed in their preparations and retaliatory forays against the demonic hordes by a higher power -- a higher power who expressly forbade them from contacting secular authorities -- and right here, people. Right here is where this episode completely fell apart for me. "Oh, my! [Slurp!] So early in the hour?!" Yep. "Well! Would you care to share your dazzling insights with the rest of the class!?" Don't get snippy with me, Raoul. "Hee!" It's just that Our Intrepid Idiots just learned God's out of the picture, permanently, and they've known since the fourth-season finale that the angels now running the show are untrustworthy in the extreme, so why would they not immediately suspect that anything any "higher power" has to say in this situation is complete and utter bullshit? Or, you know, why would they not immediately suspect that it might in fact be originating from their adversary's side? Hmmm? HMMM? "You're asking the wrong dragon!" WHY? "[Slurp!] Because I don't care! Hee! [Slurp!]" Fine. Abandon me in this, my hour of need. "Okay!" Bitch. "[Titter!]"

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