Adventures In Babysitting

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 8 USERS: A-
Dear Mister Hardy Boy, Play Us A Tune

...the parking lot, where we find the lissome lass tottering atop a pair of perilous-looking white vinyl pumps as she leads her bulbous client behind a semi so they might commence with their business transaction far away from prying eyes. By the way, if you're interested in such detail, you should probably know that the semi's passenger-side door has been emblazoned with the logo of Western Couriers, which is a nice little touch in an episode that is otherwise sorely bereft of them. In any event, the moment the lass and her client have wobbled and/or waddled their way out of our sight, Ian Tracey pops up with his massive hunting knife at the ready to slink around the semi's cab, but by the time he's rounded the corner, both the lass and her client have somewhat ominously disappeared. Ian Tracey frowns to himself and proceeds to peek beneath the rigs on either side and whatnot, but he remains alone until Waitress Marlene materializes behind him to sing, "Hey, there! You lost?" "Whaaaaaa?" Ian Tracey slurs, suddenly unsteady on his feet, for as Waitress Marlene quickly confesses, she "slipped a little special sauce" into his coffee when he wasn't looking. DUN! "You do know we're venomous, right?" she smiles, and with that, her eyes flip reptilian, so we know something's not quite right with Waitress Marlene. "Looks like I didn't dose you quite hard enough," she continues, slowly advancing upon him. "That's okay," she assures him. "There's more where that came from." Waitress Marlene here allows her lips to part to reveal a set of fangs, much to Ian Tracey's visible horror, and when he makes a move to escape, Waitress Marlene slams him up against the Western Courier truck with such force that he has little choice but to drop to the asphalt, unconscious. "That's for the crappy tip!" Waitress Marlene spits, and the shot cuts to an arty overhead of Ian Tracey sprawled out across the cracked pavement before everything gets blown away by this evening's...

...SNOT ROCKET! "Well!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon from his comfortable perch high atop that overstuffed armchair of his. "This evening's much-awaited installment certainly looks promising, I must say!" Oh, sweetie. "What?!" I hate to break it to you, doll, but this evening's "much-awaited" installment is actually excruciatingly boring. "Really!?" Really, and with a snot-nosed adolescent featured prominently amongst its primary cast, to boot. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" You know, I should be pissed off that the dizzy lizard's already lapsed into one of his Comas Of Boredom so early in the episode, but mostly I'm just incredibly envious of him at the moment. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Sigh. Well, let's get this bullshit over with:

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP