Adventures In Babysitting

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 8 USERS: A-
Dear Mister Hardy Boy, Play Us A Tune

...that truck stop from the top of the hour to discover that Dean and Chrissy have already arrived to scope out the place, and is this, like, the only goddamned truck stop in the entire Dodge City area? How in hell do they know this is where they should be? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Okay! Okay! Fine, I'm not caring. In any event, Dean and Chrissy blather away at each other over...something I totally missed because I totally don't care and I'm totally not going back to listen to it again, and then Waitress Marlene pops up from out of nowhere to hoist herself into one of the rigs and drive off. Despite, oh, never having seen Waitress Marlene before in their lives, both Dean and Chrissy instantly realize she must be one of the Vetalas, there to dispose of a victim's semi, and Dean keys the crapped-out Buick's engine to take off after her.

Some moments later, Waitress Marlene has apparently led Our Intrepid Hero and his spunky little sidekick to the warehouse within which she's imprisoned Sam and Ian Tracey, and Dean takes a moment to enthuse, "All riiiiiight!" He then lifts a fist into bump position. "What century is this?" Chrissy scoffs, going on to claim, "No one fist-bumps anymore." And because what follows amounts to the only genuinely amusing piece of business in this entire episode, I'll refrain from telling that aggravating adolescent to shut the fuck up again. "C'mon!" Dean dorkily encourages her. "Give it up! Good work!" Rather enticingly, he wiggles his fist around in the silence that follows. "You're a dweeb," Chrissy eyerolls. Pause. Dean wiggles his fist again. It is absolutely adorable. So adorable, in fact, that it eats straight through Chrissy's juvenile disdain, and she raises a fist of her own to join him. Suddenly all business, Dean snatches at Chrissy's wrist and handcuffs her to the steering wheel. HA! Chrissy seethes, demanding to be let go, but Dean will not be taking a teenager into a knife fight with a couple of fangy Vetalas, thank you very much, and after he relieves her of her lockpick, he exits the crapped-out Buick to enter the warehouse alone.

Warehouse. Dean tippy-toes in through a side entrance to find Waitress Marlene and Good Time Sally blithely blithering away over the heads of their semi-conscious guests. Easily getting the drop on them, Our Intrepid Hero hoists a handy chunk of metal into the air and whacks Good Time Sally across the teeth with it, sending her into a sprawling daze across the concrete warehouse floor. Waitress Marlene wastes not an instant slipping into her game face, and she skitters across the room to challenge Dean to a little hand-to-hand mere moments after he's whipped a handy little silver blade out of the waistband of his jeans. He lunges for her neck with the knife, but Waitress Marlene manages a dodge that also gives her enough leverage to slam Hapless El Deano up against a wall. Naturally, he loses his grip on the knife as he's sailing through the air, and the thing clatters harmlessly to the ground while Waitress Marlene busies herself throwing him into a chokehold. Fortunately, they're quite close to a workbench at the moment, and Dean manages to wrap his fingers around a crowbar, with which he proceeds to brain Waitress Marlene until she, too, crashes into a sprawling daze across the concrete warehouse floor. And as Sam somehow rouses himself over there on his little chair, Dean scoops up his momentarily discarded dagger and leaps to press the sharpened edge against Waitress Marlene's neck.

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