Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 3 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys, Defeated!

Dean takes a moment to gulp, then steels his resolve and throws open the diner's back door to find...nothing more than a rain-flooded field! As he slowly swings the door shut, however, his fingers trail through a line of sulphur left on the barred window's casing. Panicked, he races back out into the parking lot, bellowing Sam's name repeatedly into the night. The camera, which had leapt far above the tiny little café when Dean threw open the front door, has been slowly tracking down towards Our Intrepid Hero during all of this, and settles in tightly on his face just as Dean unhinges his lower jaw to howl, "SAM!"

As Dean's screams echo across the soundtrack, the shot cross-fades from his frantic expression to Darling Sammy's unconscious one. Unconscious and upside-down, I should note. And with the camera pointing straight down Sam's nostrils, in the process making them look as unnaturally large as the rest of him. Poor Jared. The camera slowly draws back and up into a clockwise spin above Sam's out-of-it form as Sam suddenly starts awake to find all fifteen feet of himself sprawled across a platform of damp and muddy shingles that looks like some decrepit bit of neglected porch roofing that's collapsed onto the ground. Sam eventually scrambles to his feet -- and The Padalecki's got some goddamn long legs on him -- and whips his eyes around at the abandoned little western woodframe village surrounding him before he remembers to pull out his cell phone and search for a signal. There isn't one, of course, and Sam flails about helplessly as the camera cuts high into the air above it all, making Sam look impossibly small in the middle of all of those run-down buildings. The ghost town's creakily rattling, eerily spinning windmill takes up a full third of the frame in the foreground of the shot until everything collapses into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" You really love that title card, don't you? "I do indeed, and I hope they keep it in place next season!" Eh, I've a feeling they're going to switch it out for something new. "No!" 'Fraid so, my scaly friend -- the first season had the EVP, the second season had the fire, I'm guessing the third season might be rock-salt-related. "Oh, they wouldn't dare!" Wouldn't dare what? "Wouldn't dare firing a shotgun directly into the camera, of course! Would they?!" Oh, Raoul! That sounds awesome! "Thanks! That delightful little Kripke person can send my check care of you, of course!" Hey! What the hell am I, a bank?

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