Episode Report Card
Demian: A+ | 10 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys, Triumphant!

...Bobby's place. Bobby is, of course, completely horrified to see Zombie Sam up and about, but he hides that horror well enough from Sam's face while shooting rays of death with his eyes at Dean behind Zombie Sam's remarkably broad back. Hee. Dean attempts to bluff his way through the situation, all the while understanding that Bobby's already guessed what's really happened, but fortunately for the sake of the plot, Bobby chooses to let it go for the moment so he might share his latest bits of research with El Deano and The Ginormous Revenant. Seems that, virtually overnight, "demonic omens" -- including massive cattle die-offs and lightning storms -- "skyrocketed from out of nowhere" all across the central Mountain States with the exception of one location: The Great Divide Basin in southern Wyoming. "It's almost as if the demons are surrounding it," Bobby ominously explains. Bobby then rather conveniently asks Sam to reexamine the evidence with the latter's freshly undead eyes so Bobby and Dean can "retrieve" a few more "books" from Bobby's "truck." Of course, once they're well out of the range of Sam's enhanced zombie hearing, Bobby The Badass quickly shouts Dean into embarrassed submission and obtains the relevant facts regarding The Ginormous Revenant's ungodly resurrection. "I could throttle you!" Bobby cries, snatching Li'l Stumpy up by his jacket. "And send me downstairs ahead of schedule?" Dean bleakly jokes. Bobby just shakes his head in disbelief at this and, shoving Dean away, growls, "What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your [worthless bastard of a so-called father]? You're both just itchin' to throw yourselves down the pit!" "That's my point!" Dean protests. "[My worthless bastard of a so-called father] brought me back, Bobby -- I'm not even supposed to be here!" If Bobby's surprised by this news -- and he shouldn't be, since he was intimately involved in the events of the season premiere -- he hides it well, and Dean goes on to reveal his tortured, tragic, and dumb logic thusly: "At least this way, something good can come out of it, you know? It's like my life can mean something!" "And it didn't before?" Bobby howls, aghast. "Have you got that low an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?" Duuuuuuh, Bobby. Have you not been watching your own show? Where the hell have you been for the last season and a half? Dean pleads that he simply couldn't let Sam die like that. Bobby, of course, brilliantly counters, "How's your brother gonna feel when he knows you're going to Hell? How'd you feel when you knew your [worthless bastard of a so-called father] went for you?" Dean weakly begs Bobby to keep his secret. Bobby, despairing, gently grabs Dean's head in his hands, and both of these gigantic pussies are about to collapse into quivering puddles of girly tears over it all when a sudden noise out in the junkyard pimp-slaps them both back into their respective game faces. After much manufactured tension, Dean pounces upon the intruder, and it's the fabulous Ellen Harvelle, her face frozen in a horrible expression of shell-shocked disbelief and loss until she realizes Dean and Bobby are still alive. She gratefully collapses into Dean's arms when he pulls her in for an embrace, and she allows herself to smile for the first time in perhaps days right before all three of them vanish into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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