Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 4 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Get Déjà Vu All Over Again

The boys prepares salt shots as Bobby researches the hand brand haunting band, and Dean explains why he can't get behind God. If he doesn't exist, then bad crap happens to people without rhyme or reason, and that's just how it is. "But if he is out there, what's wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? Why doesn't he help?" Dean, you sound just like Meg when she was accusing you. I'm just sayin'... Besides, sweetie, philosophers have wrestled with the problem of evil for millennia. Dean looks to Sam who looks to Bobby, who says, "I ain't touching this one with a ten-foot pole." Dean just says, "Yeah." Bobby's found the symbol, though, which is good news for Dean and fantastic news to the fans who really wouldn't want to sit through a philosophy of religion and theology argument with Bobby, Sam, and Dean -- unless they're drunk -- and by they're I mean the characters and the audience. The brand is "The Mark of the Witness." All witnesses to the unnatural, none of these ghosts died ordinary deaths and then they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony like I'm going to in just a couple of hours -- but none of them have kids to get off to school or other jobs to do. They're like rabid dogs (the marked ghosts, not my kids...usually). Bobby says, "Someone rose 'em, on purpose." RAISED. Sam asks, "Who?" and Bobby, bless him, says, "Do I look like I know?" Heh. "But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark -- a brand on their souls," much like this exposition is doing to me. Bobby continues that whoever did this had big plans conducting this "Rising of the Witnesses," which figures into an ancient prophecy. Dean wants to know what book the prophecy is from. Bobby says, "The widely distributed version is just for tourists you know, but long story short -- Revelations," the implication being that there are secret portions of the book not available to the more mundane among us. Bobby's been so awesome this episode that I won't mock him for bungling the book's name, which is Revelation. I'll save that for the writers, instead. Sigh. Bobby says this is a sign of apocalypse. Sam and Dean search their souls, each for their own reasons, and we hear the METAL TEETH CHOMP! around their brains.

Dean's beside himself. "Apocalypse? As in apocalypse apocalypse? As in four horsemen, pestilence, 5 dollar a gallon gas apocalypse?" You mean he doesn't know? It was pretty high when he went south. Is this why they had him sleeping when the boys drove into the Gas & Save? Bobby says that's the one, and explains that the rise of the witnesses is a mile marker. When Sam asks what they should do now, Dean says, "Pfffft. Road Trip. Grand Canyon. Star Trek Experience. Bunny Ranch." Bobby's still thinking with his big head, so he suggests they survive their friends out there, first. He's found a spell that should work (although 'should' doesn't fill Sam with confidence) and thinks he has everything they need in the house. When Dean asks if there's any chance they have everything they need in that room, Bobby says, "You thought our luck was going to start now, all of a sudden?" He really is just like a father to them. The spell has to be cast over an open fire so they'll have to do it over the fireplace in the library. The library? Bobby's got a brazillion wrecks in his back yard, three shirts, two pairs of pants, one fricking baseball cap, and a house with stained glass windows and a library. Isn't that just the way? Dean leans his head into his hand like he's got the world's worst migraine. "This is not as appealing as a ghost-proof panic room, you know?" And yet, still better than Hell, I'd wager, so quit your bitching, Dean, and get moving.

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