Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Have A Furry Fetish

Outside Chez Dipshit, Dean catches a call from Bobby while Sam steps right into an enormous wad of bubble gum in the gutter. And as I will never be able to do justice to everything that follows? Another long story short: While Dean and Bobby chat and natter at each other and eventually figure out that the woman they need to locate is a well-known broker of supernatural objects named Bela Talbot, Darling Sammy spends the entire scene attempting to scrape the gum off his shoe on a sewer grating. A broken sewer grating. A broken sewer grating with a hole just large enough to devour his entire ginormous shoe when the thing of course pops off his foot in the middle of a particularly vigorous gum-scraping swipe. We hear the shoe go "Sploosh!" in the water far below as Dean at long last snaps shut his phone, and when Dean turns to share what he's just learned, he finds all fifteen feet of his tremendously dejected brother slouched over in pouty despair. "What?" Dean snaps. "I lost my shoe," Sam sulks. Awwwww! Also: Hee!

Shortly afterwards, Dean wheels the Impala into a motor court while again snapping shut his cell after another call from Bobby, who's learned Bela Talbot lives in Queens. "It'll take me about two hours to get there," Dean reckons, and I'll be taking that as a shout-out, thank you very much, Ben Edlund, because it takes normal people eight hours to drive from Buffalo to Queens. In any event, and in the meantime, Sam will remain locked in a motel room in Black Rock so his bad luck doesn't end up getting both of them killed. Dean swings the Impala past Krazy Kubrick's darkened RV, and the next thing we know, Dean's planting Sam in a chair in the middle of their motel room with orders not to do or touch anything -- anything -- lest The Laughing Gods Of The Final Destination Franchise Rube Goldberg him into an early grave.

Queens. In a tastefully appointed loft positively bursting with priceless antiques, Bela Talbot and her bizarre British accent negotiate a final price for the mangy fetish -- which Bela's handling with a lengthy pair of salad tongs, by the way, which I am finding unreasonably amusing. Meanwhile, sneaky El Deano almost completely dodges her private security system to break into her apartment, but Bela spots him at the last instant on her closed-circuit TV and retrieves a handy automatic from her wine refrigerator for the impending confrontation. Unluckily for her, though, sneaky El Deano's already made his way into the loft. The two train their guns on each other, making with the smirky remarks until both are sucked into the next most woefully CHOMP!-less commercial break. Stupid, stupid show.

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Supernatural

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