Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: C+
The Hardy Boys Stifle Their Gag Reflexes

...Evil Gordon has fled. With the keys to Metallicar! Bastard!

Dean hotwires the Impala while Sam does some mad College Boy triangulation with a map. Or something like that. Sam actually paid quite close attention to what was going on while Eli and the henchvamp were driving him back to the motel, and thus can pretty much pinpoint the cozy little cow-sucker farmhouse's location based on prominent landmarks and time it took to travel between them. "You're good," Dean admits admiringly. "You're a monster pain in the ass, but you're good." And with that, Metallicar growls out of the parking lot.

Lair Of The Cow-Suckers. Moo! Lenore boxes up some books as Eli grumps into the room to bitch about the nest just turning tail and fleeing without taking out the hunters before they go, and as he does this, he pretty much offers her the same sort of argument regarding the immutability of a given group's true nature that Dean spouted in Sam's direction regarding the vampires. Lenore reaches a calming hand up to Eli's face and gently tells him, "I'm not giving up hope. If we can change, they can change." They share a moment before she urges him into town to collect the others, as they need to be gone before sunrise.

Meanwhile, Evil Gordon's Evil El Camino crosses the bridge Sam had earlier with the vampires, and hangs a left. An evil left. Evilly.

The Impala's about a mile behind him.

Over at The Lair Of The Cow-Suckers, Lenore descends from the front porch to load another box into the back of the truck. She glances around for a bit, perhaps aware of how alone she really shouldn't be at this moment, and turns to head back into the...Evil Gordon! Inexplicably present despite not knowing the farmhouse's location! With a bloodied dagger! That he lifts high above her struggling body after spinning her into a chokehold! Which he then plunges into her ample, heaving bosom! "Dead Man's Blood, bitch." METAL TEETH CHOMP!

The Lair Of The Cow-Suckers, Guantanamo Subdivision. Evil Gordon lovingly immerses a dagger in a jar of Dead Man's Blood, and I'm sorry, but even in the shadowy gloom they're calling "lighting" for this scene, it's totally obvious that the knife is slathered with karo syrup dyed red, so whatever, and MOVING ON. Evil Gordon gets his Evil Jollies by torturing Poor Lenore with the Dead Man's "Blood." Damn, Amber Benson looks like crap in this scene. Her already pallid vampire complexion is that much more wasted and wan, and she's got blood dripping from what seem to be a hundred different wounds covering every expanse of exposed skin. As she gasps, Evil Gordon tears a fresh gash through her upper chest. Sam and Dean wander in, and it sure as hell took them a long time to get here given the fact that they were no more than a mile behind Gordon, who had to find this place on his own without benefit of Sam's mad College Boy triangulation skillz. ON, MOVING!

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