Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: C+
The Hardy Boys Stifle Their Gag Reflexes

Cut to Metallicar grumbling past a relatively busy cowboy bar. The boys exchange Looks Fraught With Significance before Metallicar growls away.

Sam and Dean, having presumably parked the car, now ease their way through the front door, ambling past cluster after cluster of hearty rednecks rural Montana folk to the bar. A solitary gentleman eyes their progress from his secluded table halfway across the room. Long story short, Sam slides a fifty over to the bartender, asking for information on any suspiciously rowdy drunks who might have moved into the area about six months ago. The bartender accepts the bribe and directs them to the current occupants of "the Barker farm," a group of "real winners" the bartender's had to "eighty-six" once or twice. The boys thank the barkeep for the dirt and exit. As they go, the camera pans down to the solitary gentleman's table to find it empty, save for his half-finished beer and just-lit cigarette, so we know from his very first scene that Gordon Walker is very bad news, because not only does he smoke, for holy God's sake, he also leaves booze behind. "Evil!" shrieks The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, who clearly knows the score.

There follows a lengthy and wordless sequence wherein Sam and Dean stroll along the sidewalk to disappear down an alleyway as the camera lands on positively evil Gordon Walker lurking behind a truck. The infernal orchestra -- which he obviously swiped from Dead Christina after he sliced off her head -- goes nuts on the soundtrack as Gordon slips down the alleyway after our apparently oblivious Intrepid Duo. Incidentally, I spy Convenient Shipping Pallets Of Grave Bodily Injury in this dank and forbidding alleyway, but alas. They will not be coming into play tonight. Evil Gordon rounds the corner Sam and Dean just turned and finds...nothing! Gordon then swings his head around in the light drizzle as the camera pulls a brief, swift-footed-and-shuddery fake-out to skitter up behind him before Sam and Dean, with ninja levels of stealth, attack from the other side to toss him up against a wall with a knife to his throat. "Smile!" Dean demands. "Show us those pearly whites!" "I'm not a vampire!" Gordon claims. Sam and Dean squint in confusion. "I heard you in there," Gordon explains. Sam barks, "What do you know about vampires?" "How to kill them," Gordon replies, rather calmly. "Now, seriously, bro," he continues, warily eyeing the weapon at his neck, "that knife's making me itch." Sam and Dean stare him down until Gordon grudgingly curls back his upper lip to reveal his gums. "See?" he eyebrows. "Fangless. Happy?" The boys withdraw a bit, so I guess they are. "Now, who the hell are you?" Gordon demands in return.

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