Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: C+
The Hardy Boys Stifle Their Gag Reflexes

...Eli and a henchvampire leading the still-bound and rehooded Sam out to the truck. Eli throws the thing into gear and drives away from the cow-suckers' cozy-looking farmhouse.

Back at the motel, Dean and Evil Gordon strategize over a map of the local area until Sam bursts through the door. "Where you been?" Dean slurs from the depths of that age-old combo of fatigue and booze. "Mind if I talk to you alone?" Sam clenches.

Outside, Dean and Sam clomp down the short wooden staircase into the parking lot, and long story short, Sam fills Dean in on the whole vampire situation, adding that he believes they should leave this nest of apparently reformed vamps alone. Dean, caught up in Evil Gordon's "ours is a black-and-white world" thrall, protests. Loudly. So loudly, in fact, that Evil Gordon slinks out into the shadows behind them to eavesdrop on the rest of the conversation. Way to go, Dean. The upshot of what follows is this: Dean's firmly on Gordon's side with regard to the entire matter, and vows to "exterminate" every single vampire on the planet. Sam's just as firmly siding with Lenore and her cow-sucking pals, and vows in turn to prevent any such extermination from happening. Sam then gossips that even Ellen thinks Gordon's bad news, and Dean just sneers at that, because what does she know, anyway, and besides, she only just transferred to Rydell, and they totally don't know her at all! "'Cause Gordon's such an old friend," Sam snots. "You don't think I can see what this is?" Sam demands. "He's your substitute for Dad, isn't he? A poor one. He's not even close, Dean, not on his best day." Dean, by this point, has slid from haughty annoyance through outraged incredulity to land somewhere around self-serving denial, and, shaking his head, has turned his back on his brother. Sam, not dropping it, continues to pick away at Dean's defenses until he finally accuses Dean of insulting their father's sacred memory by attempting to fill the hole John's death left in their lives with someone so unworthy as Evil Gordon. Dean takes a moment, doing that "I'm smiling and nodding my head even though I really should be caving your motherfucking skull in with a brick right now" thing people do when they're utterly blindsided by attacks as personal as this one is. And then he sucker-punches Sammy in the eye. If you've ever been in the position where you've been forced to smile and nod your head when you really should be caving some bastard's motherfucking skull in with a brick, all you can do at this moment is applaud. Bravo, Dean. Despite the fact that Sammy is totally right, and you are being a complete douchebag schmuck about Evil Gordon. "You can hit me all you want," Sam shrugs after he's recovered, "but it won't change anything." Dean makes blustery man noises and charges back into the motel room from which...

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