Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 8 USERS: D
The Hardy Boys Go Native

Oklahoma. The boys pull into the gas company parking lot, and walk directly up to a man who turns out to be exactly the man they were looking for. I want to live in a WB show! Everything is so conveniently pre-digested! They've found Travis, he of the interminable rope searching, and proceed to ask him about Dustin's death. Except they're posing as "Uncle Dusty's" nephews. Dean butters Travis up, and Travis starts spilling the beans. Travis seems a little unconvinced by the Mad Cow diagnosis, and tells them where the work site where it all went down is located.

The Metallicar (thanks, forum!) chugs into Oasis Plains, stopping in front of the house with the yellow caution tape. The work site is again excessively miked, making it sound like workers are just around the corner, and yet the brothers march right through the yellow tape and up to the sinkhole. They discuss whether or not "some sort of creature chewed on his brain," a possibility Sam disdains since there was no "entry wound." They peer into the hole without seeing much when Dean declares that "there's only room for one" and suggests they "flip a coin." Sam reminds him that they "have no idea what's down there" when Dean returns with a garden hose and unleashes reverse-psychology BroFu on Sam. Dean is all, "Okay, if you're scared, I'll go down there" until Sam falls for it: "Don't call me chicken!" and all is right in the world of Retarded Brotherly Relations. We fade to the next scene before getting to see Sam go down the hole. Good thing, because my mind might have exploded if he had actually ridden a hose into a hole.

In the Metallicar, Sam fingers a beetle. Can't make this shit up! Dean snarks, "So you found some beetles. In a hole. In the ground. That's shocking, Sam." Hee. Sam lectures that some beetles do eat meat, but admits he only found ten down there. Dean is skeptical. Sam suggests they find out more information on the area and the neighborhood, and just then they conveniently drive by an open house happening in the neighborhood. Please note that, were you to be watching the scenery go by outside the car, you would have noticed that the brothers keep passing the same black pick-up truck. Over and over and over again. Thanks, WB! And though they had passed the Open House sign a good half minute ago, they pull up and park their car about 10 feet beyond the red balloons that were attached to the sign. Quality is Job One!

As the brothers walk up to the house, Dean tells Sam that "growin' up in a place like this would freak me out…the manicured lawns, the 'How was your day, honey?' I'd blow my brains out." And while I'm with him on the ills of these kinds of exurbs, I also would choose that childhood over one lived under the shadow of a charred and eviscerated mother. Sam lectures Dean, "There's nothing wrong with normal," but Dean isn't having any of it: "I'd take our family over normal any day." That's, well, problematic, seeing as how "normal" would probably mean a non-dead mother.They are greeted at the door of the open house by a solicitous man who politely tries to excuse the show's low budget by expositing about the rainy day on which shooting could not be delayed: "Not the best weather." The man is Larry Pike, the developer, and he rushes to assure the brothers that their interest in Oasis Plains would be met with nothing but squeals of delight by the bored housewives of the neighborhood who are in desperate need of decorating tips: "Let me just say, we accept homeowners of any race, religion, color, or sexual orientation." Dean takes it in stride, pointing at Sam and informing Larry that they are actually brothers looking for a place for their father, who's "getting on in years." Larry's dreams of hot gay orgies are quashed, but he covers his disappointment well -- "Great, well, seniors are welcome, too" -- and invites The Hardy Boys in.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP