Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 8 USERS: D
The Hardy Boys Go Native

Commercials. The morning, a shower runs, and Sam marches down the hallway to bang on the bathroom door asking when Dean is planning on coming out. He yells through the door that a police call came in on the scanner and that someone was found dead three blocks away. Dean cracks open the door, wearing a towel on his head and steam pouring out behind him, and quips, "This shower is awesome." Be still my heart, that guy has some face. Sam continues on his quest towards becoming America's Next Top Boring and just tells him to hurry up.

Outside, it is raining again. Thanks, Vancouver. A body bag is wheeled out of a house, and The Hardy Boys are hardly suspicious as they walk up to Larry outside the crime scene. All three hold umbrellas, and I'm hoping against hope for a little Gene Kelly soft-shoe number here. I mean, if you're gonna do gay, do gay. All the boys get out of Larry is that Linda is the dead person. And I have to say, if there are truly only two houses being lived in -- a point which will be key when the swarm descends later on -- shouldn't the guys know that it was Linda that got dead? Since it was obviously not Larry or any of his family?

Two stunt doubles scale the side of a house. Inside the house, Sam and Dean step through a window to find the taped outline of a body. Dean goes into the bathroom and shakes out a towel lying on the floor, releasing a handful of plastic Halloween spiders. The Acks's reaction is great, because while his head-shaking is supposed to communicate, "Man, we were right. There is something weird going on around here," it also works well to communicate, "Jesus Christ, Props. Couldn't you at least get rubber spiders?" They think the culprit is probably the kid, Matt.The Metallicar pulls up at the exact moment Matt is dropped off by his school bus. Matt heads into the woods and The Hardy Boys follow. I wonder if they'll find much wood in the woods? Cut to Matt acting like the TOTAL FREAK he is, collecting bug specimens. Only on the WB is a teenaged bug collector treated like a budding pyromaniac. I mean, the kid is totally sitting with the nerd herd at lunch, but a family pariah? I don't think so. Anyhow, Sam activates the GPS device in his artfully-mussed bangs, a special device that locates all similarly mussed bangs in a fifty-mile radius. Or, the boys find Matt. By the way, this "forest" set is truly atrocious. I was just at The Field Museum in Chicago the other day, and the sixty-year-old papier-mâché foliage they had in the largely-forgotten Birds of America exhibit looked more realistic than this shit. The Hardy Boys accost Matt, who tells them he knows they aren't "here to buy a house."

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