Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 8 USERS: D
The Hardy Boys Go Native

Get thee to a Department of Anthropology, boys! As my captioning tells me, "Rock music plays," which makes me think my mom is typing them up. The Metallicar chugs onto a college campus. A coed walks in front of the car in a mini-skirt and Uggs-ish boots, and Dean ogles her. Nice try, pal. Sam takes off his coat to drape over the box of skulls he pulls out of the back seat. The brothers discuss their discovery of "a bunch of skeletons in an unmarked grave" and whether the bug attacks are due to "some pissed-off spirits." As they continue walking, Dean asks Sam how he could tell Matt to "just ditch his family like that." Sam responds that he just knows "what the kid is going through," when Dean suggests that maybe he should have told him "to respect his old man, how's that for advice?" Sam tells Dean that he knows this is about their own dad. Apparently, Sam feels he was a disappointment to his father because he never wanted to go bow hunting or hustle pool, and then helpfully summarizes the irony for the lobotomized among us: "Which in our whacked-out family made me the freak." Dean jokes that Sam was "kinda like the blonde chick on The Munsters." Then we find out that their dad threw Sam out of the house when he got a full-ride scholarship.

The shots have gotten tighter on Padalecki's and Ackles's faces, which is nice. Dean tells Sam that he remembers the fight about college, but remembers "a few choice phrases coming out of your mouth" as well. Sam confesses that if they "do find Dad, I don't know if he'll even want to see me." Dean gives Sam a real comeuppance when he tells him that their father wasn't disappointed, just scared about letting his son go off where he couldn't protect him. Then the tear bomb: apparently Dad used to "swing by Stanford whenever he could" to make sure Sam was safe. Jensen's lips are pink as a dew-dropped rose in this scene.

Inside, the boys meet with an anthropology professor. And because that is inherently boring, I'll just give you the outlines: the bones are 170 years old, probably Native American, probably Native Americans who had been "relocated," they should go to the Euchee tribe in Sapulpa to find out more.

Smokum peace pipe, man, The Hardy Boys are off to an Injun reservation! You know how on The A-Team, the theme song would get reworked during the weekly montage scene according to what kind of person or group they were getting ready to fight? Like, if they were messing with the Chinese mafia, it was The A-Team theme song done in pan flutes and gongs? Or if they were taking on Latin American drug runners, the theme would have a samba beat to it? Well, Supernatural is clearly taking a page from that book here, as the boys drive onto the reservation accompanied by rattlesnake percussion and thumping Native drums.The Ambiguously Gay Duo walks into a bar and meets an old Indian. That sounds like the start of one of your uncle's offensive jokes, but it isn't. They find "Joe Whitetree" inside (all right, it's actually a diner) playing solitaire. Dean starts off with, "We're students from the university," to which Joe replies, "No you're not, you're lying." Oh, Pale Face, you are so transparent. Sam takes over the questioning, and Joe says he likes Sam because he isn't a liar. Face hard, Dean!

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