Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 2 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Have A Suisse Mocha Moment

Cut to Pink Chippie sniffling over some glamour shot of Angela and Meathead Matt at what I'm sure is some asinine fraternity formal. Meathead Matt just seems like he rolled that way, you know? Soon enough, Pink Chippie's distracted by ferrety noises coming from the front porch's general direction, so she rises to investigate. "Hello?" she calls out before -- oh, my God, must they all be so dumb? -- twisting open the doorknob and poking her head outside. Fortunately for her, there are no axe-wielding serial killers waiting on her welcome mat. Unfortunately for her, Zombie Angela's popped up from behind and launches herself into a hair-pulling smackdown with a singsongy, "Hi, Lindsay, I'm hoooo-ome!" Lovely emphasis on the "ho" bit there, by the way. In any event, Lindsay's keening rictus of terror gets gobbled up by the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

"Aaaaahhhhhhhiyyyyiiiiiiiaaaahhhhh!" Lindsay screams as she wrests herself from Zombie Angela's grasp to flee down the hallway into the kitchen at the back of the house. Zombie Angela, of course, is hot on her trampy slut of a former roommate's trail, managing to snatch up a handy pair of shears on her way. "I am so, so sorry!" Lindsay The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut pleads. "Not sorry enough!" Zombie Angela seethes, plunging the shears towards the spot where The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut's heart should be. "I must admit, I'm inclined to take the zombie's side in this whole sordid affair," Raoul notes, as well he should. Lindsay manages a dodge, unfortunately, so Zombie Angela's fist just crashes through the glass front of the kitchen's cupboard. The zombie wheels around to have another go at the black, gaping emptiness The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut has in place of a soul, but Lindsay simply falls onto her back on the floor ("They didn't call them roundheels back in my day for nothing," Raoul sniffs), managing from that position to land a boot in Zombie Angela's stomach. Zombie Angela crashes face first into the linoleum at The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut's side, and remains still for some reason. Lindsay flips the zombie over to discover the shears have inadvertently embedded themselves in Angela's chest. The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut ohmigods about the entire situation for a very lengthy period of time until Zombie Angela snaps her eyes open, latches once more onto her faithless former roommate's hair, and uses those tresses to yank herself slowly up, first into sitting position, then finally to her feet, all the while sliding the shears menacingly from her chest. Just before Zombie Angela gets a chance to finish off The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut for good, however, gunshots ring out from Dean's automatic, and Zombie Angela staggers and jerks backwards, gasping for breath. Zombie Angela recovers quickly enough, however, and spins around to bare her teeth at Our Intrepid Heroes. Dean's response? Shooting another hole in the zombie's chest. Yes! These strange, whickering noises hit the soundtrack as Zombie Angela flails around and gracelessly leaps through the window in a manner physically reminiscent of her compatriots in 28 Days Later. Dean leaps after her as Sam draws The Worthless Trampy Homewrecking Slut into a soothing embrace -- and we really need to get him laid, now don't we? -- but Dean's soon reentering the kitchen through the window, grunting, "Damn, that dead chick can run." Heh. "What now?" Sammy blurts. "I say we go have a little chat with Neal," Dean suggests.

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