Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 2 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys Have A Suisse Mocha Moment

Neal makes his shakily panting and increasingly panicked way out to the car, only to fumble the keys promptly to the asphalt, and wouldn't you know it? Zombie Angela's right there when he eventually rises from retrieving them to sneer, "Neal. You look nervous." "Were you going to leave me?" she snarls, and then Tamara Feldman goes near-ultrasonic with the shrill accusations of abandonment and philandering and whatnot, so I'll skip ahead to the point where Zombie Angela just grabs onto Neal's face as he's midway through a babbling apology and twists hard to the left. The Zombie Fucker's neck makes gratifyingly crunchy noises as his vertebrae snap, and Angela allows his poorly deceptive and now-dead ass to drop to the ground.

Cut over to the cemetery, where Our Dear Boys carefully arrange the various supplies for their fake ritual on the ground surrounding Angela's still-open grave, and I'm not going to wonder how a cemetery plot so blatantly violated would escape detection for twenty-four hours because I still have six and a half minutes and one character's enormous nervous breakdown to get through before this is all over, and so I will be MOVING ON. Hearing forest noises emanating from the far end of the cemetery, Sam slides an automatic from the back waistband of his jeans and Jazz-Hands his way around the various headstones and monuments until he's reached the underbrush beyond, and there he loiters and loiters and loiters until Zombie Angela lurks up behind him. Action Sammy With Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes whips around to point the gun in Angela's face. "Wait!" Angela gasps. "It's not what you think!" she breathily continues with much heaving of pallid bosom in the moonlight. "I didn't ask to be brought back, but it's still me -- I'm still a person. Please." And just when you think Sammy's going to buy that line of bullshit and in turn attempt to convince his brother to let her live, Action Sammy With Super-Special Puppy-Dog Eyes blows a hole right through the zombie's forehead. Kick ass. "I still think she had a point," Raoul insists. "Well. Earlier. You know what I mean."

The bullet affects Zombie Angela not one bit, so Sam takes off, tearing ass through underbrush and graves until Angela catches up to him at the last instant and tackles him to the ground. Even though Jared Padalecki is fifteen feet tall and Tamara Feldman is all of about, say, four. Let's just pretend she took a flying leap at one of his calves and somehow managed to dig her teeth into the back of his knee. Just as Zombie Angela's about to twist Sam's neck into new and exciting shapes, Dean leaps out from behind a marker and pumps her full of silver. The force of each bullet's impact propels her further backwards until she tumbles into her own coffin. Dean pulls a completely awesome running slide into the grave to land right on top of her, and he then jams this enormous metal spike through her stomach into the floor of the casket below. Angela's reanimated corpse ceases struggling almost immediately, and Dean slowly hauls himself out of the ground to growl, "What's dead should stay dead." The camera pans slowly up towards his face until everything vanishes into the METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP