Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Pull a Rabbit Out of Their Hat
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle BLOOD-RED THEN! and oh, my. How shall I put this delicately? Let's see: While Dashing El Deano chilled out with all the cool beasties down in Hell -- flaying open the bodies of various rightfully condemned souls and wondering when he was finally going to get a chance at the truly deserving like Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Bremer, no doubt -- Ruby The Not-So-Sparkly-Haired Demon saved Darling Sammy's life with her magical undead vagina, and The Corpse Fucker came through the experience so reenergized, he was able to exorcise various smart-mouthed adversaries simply through the power of his almighty brain. How was that? "Most indelicate indeed!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, somewhat appalled. "But accurate!" Excellent. As you know, accuracy is my primary goal. "Then you've succeeded! Do continue!" Thanks, friend of friends, but I almost missed the part wherein we learned The Corpse Fucker's almighty brain proved most ineffective against one adversary in particular: Alastair, who also happened to be one of Dashing El Deano's tightest beastie buddies, as it turns out. And when all was said and done, The Corpse Fucker vowed never to use his almighty brain ever again. Got all that? Good, because we must now request your silence for the...

...Slashy, Slashy NOW! Shortly after the Slashy NOW! advances into the blackness, the shot cross-fades to a clot of easily amused pedestrians clustered around a an affable-enough bespectacled gent who's sporting a ridiculously tacky crimson faux-leather sport coat. The gent's affixed a white, heart-shaped balloon to a tray, and after he carefully displays said balloon to his impromptu guests, the gent pulls something tricky that somehow transforms the balloon into a white dove, much to the appreciation of the onlookers. The camera pans up above the throng to linger upon a pair of street banners affixed to the nearby lamppost, from which we learn that Sioux City, Iowa, is celebrating something called MAGIC WEEK. The banners -- illustrated with top hats, canes, and pairs of white gloves -- are also careful to welcome THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF DOUCHEBAGS. Well, that last word might have been "MAGICIANS," but given the title for this week's episode, you'll forgive me for getting it wrong. Repeatedly. Throughout the recap.

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