Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Pull a Rabbit Out of Their Hat

The next day -- and no, I don't know how Our Intrepid Heroes heard about Dead Vance's mysterious death so quickly, so stop asking me -- Douchebag Supreme's menacing the sidewalks of Sioux City, performing a card trick of his own before a throng of adoring (and largely female) fans. And as he proceeds to describe the card trick not as a simple illusion, but rather as "a demonstration about demons and angels" and "love and lust," and considering the fact that he's brought along his own personal television crew to film the distasteful display, you'll not be surprised, I'm sure, when I agree with the just-arriving Dean's assessment of the performer: "What a douchebag." "It's Jeb Dexter," Darling Sammy corrects, a pleased smile growing across his face for reasons that will become obvious in a few, because as it turns out, Darling Sammy's a closet magic fanboy. Wait. I think that came out wrong. "It certainly did!" Raoul titters. I meant, he's a secret fan of magic and know what? The hell with it, 'cause I've got a crappy magic trick to recap. "Atta girl!" Be quiet, Raoul. So, Douchebag Supreme warns the crowd not to interfere, and proceeds to hurl himself into a jittery, spastic, teeth-clenching fake seizure, during which he pretends to expel the pretend demon inhabiting his all-too-real overly made-up body, and at the moment of supposed exorcism, he sprays his deck of cards across the plate glass window of an adjacent store, all the while screaming, "Go back to Hell, DEMON! And at the end of it all, one card -- the ace of diamonds -- appears to have embedded itself within the glass, which of course overawes the easily impressed Iowan chippies, and Douchebag Supreme of course finds himself the recipient of wild amounts of applause and flung panties and such. "I can't believe people actually fall for that crap," Dean pffts. Neither can I, Dean. Neither can I. The closet fanboy, however, hastens to note that it's not all crap, and as the two amble down the sidewalk away from -- as Dean puts it -- "the steaming pile of B.S." they just witnessed, Sam adds that the true magic professionals deploy a great amount of skill. Dean's still not buying it, mainly because he's suddenly remembered that Sam was totally into that crap when he was a kid, even going so far as to acquire his very own special wand. "[Snerk!]" Knock it off, Raoul. "I will if you will!" Geez. Dean eventually moves past the teasing to wax enraged about the whole thing, what with the fact that real demons and actual magic "will kill you bloody," which gives Sam an opportunity to remind us all of the Dead Vance at hand, and before we know it, we've...

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