Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 1 USERS: B
The Hardy Boys Pull a Rabbit Out of Their Hat

Meanwhile, in the highest of high-end Sioux City hotels, Douchebag Supreme's making love to his image in a mirror, or something, dancing along with some horror punk wannabes he's got cranked up on his iPod, and that's all very unfortunate for Douchebag Supreme, for he's failing to notice one of his prop nooses as it sails of its own accord through the air behind him to coil around the ceiling fan right over his head. D'OH!

Back in the cabaret, the timer runs out just as Dean realizes Jay's not going to make it, and Jay's silhouette drops heavily through the trap door while various shocked cabaret patrons leap to their feet in horror. Meanwhile...

...the prop noose attacks! "VIOLENCE!" Douchebag Supreme's hoisted up into the air, where he gags and chokes with his feet spinning around beneath him just as...

...Jay emerges from the curtains, victorious! Enthused cabaret patrons -- plus Dean -- cheer Jay on, but Super Smart Sammy realizes, "That was not humanly possible!" DUH! Once again, guys: Do you not know the title of your own show?

Over in the highest of high-end Sioux City hotels, Douchebag Supreme twists in the air like the great big douchey pi√Īata he now is until the METAL TEETH CHOMP! finally -- finally -- gobbles the guyliner aficionado right up into the commercial break.

Back in this week's motel room, the boys plow through their typical amounts of research, with Sam discovering that The Incredible Jay used to headline top-tier magic shows at Radio City Music Hall thirty years ago, which would make him Doug Henning's contemporary, and the less said about that, the better, because now I feel really, really old. Coincidentally enough, age eventually caught up with Jay, as it does to us all, and he's been in the "Where Are They Now?" file ever since. Dean surmises that Jay's using actual black magic -- a "death transference" spell, perhaps -- to stage a comeback, but neither can figure out what part the tarot cards play, mainly because they have yet to discover the next one on Douchebag Supreme's rapidly cooling corpse. Ooops. Spoiler! In any event, none of that is important, because what is important in this scene is Our Dear Boys' subsequent ruminations on aging and death, and boring! Long story short, Dean's convinced they'll both be dead -- permanently this time -- before they've made it through their fifties, and he's pretty sure that's not going to be such a bad thing, as the elderly hunters they've met in the past have all been basket cases. "There's Bobby," Sam offers, but Dean succinctly snorts in reply, "Oh, yeah, there's a poster child for growing old gracefully," and much as I hate to admit it, Dean's got a point, what with Bobby so recently farting off to frolic in the Dominican clad in nothing more than a trucker hat and a banana sling. Ew. Bottom line is, to Dean it all ends "either bloody or sad," and that's just a fact, but Sam clearly won't settle for that, and subtly repeats (though he never mentions her name, of course) Ruby's argument for ridding themselves of Lilith -- that is, "cut the head off the snake" - is responsible for all their current woe, and everything might end up daffodils and lollipops and unicorns prancing across the rainbows that shoot out of Jensen Ackles's ass in the end. "The problem with the snake is that is has a thousand heads," Dean correctly counters. "Evil bitches just keep piling out of the Volkswagen," he elaborates, and as that visibly deflates Sam, Dean abruptly changes the topic of conversation and suggests Sam track down Jay while Dean himself tries to figure out what's up with the tarot card.

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