Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 5 USERS: B+
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The Hardy Boys Go Viral

Ugh.

ANY-way. Dean pulls Sam into the outer reception area for yet another tête-à-tête, and this one's just as boring as the others they've been having this evening, so let's cut to the chase: Sam insists that Dean can't kill Duane until they're 100%, absolutely, positively certain the poor guy's infected, and Dean disagrees by throwing Sammy against a wall. Dean then locks Sam in the outer reception area to loiter around with the cheery "Living With Diabetes" posters while Dean himself enters the real-time version of Sammy's latest nocturnal death emission alone. And that plays out exactly as it did earlier -- minus the extreme and harshly lit close-ups -- until the very end, when Dean's conscience gets the better of him. And with a furiously muttered, "Dammit!" he holsters his unfired automatic to storm out of the room.

Later, Sam and Dean silently prepare jury-rigged Molotov cocktails with the supplies available in the clinic. Doctor Lee enters at some point to note it's been "four hours," and Duane's blood samples remain free of sulphur. She'd like to untie him now, if that's okay with the U.S. Marshals in the room. Sam lifts his eyebrows in Dean's direction, Dean allows his wordless and begrudging assent, and Sam agrees to the good doctor's wishes. Once she disappears, Dean returns to the task at hand, and the Foley boys go so nuts with the sound of Dean filling a bottle with potassium chlorate that I suddenly feel a very strong urge to relieve myself. Sam then attempts to get Dean to open up about The Angst, but El Deano -- bless his little heart -- shuts down completely, choosing instead to snort, "We need more alcohol." "You and me both, honey!" Raoul shouts, unable to rise above the temptation of a cheap joke due to the torpid pace at which this half of the episode's unfolding.

Sam sighs and wearily pushes himself up to head into the dispensary, where he greets the already-present Nurse Pam with, "How you holding up?" "Good," she shrugs before adding suspiciously, "It'll all be over soon." She then crosses behind him and deliberately shuts and locks the door. Bamp-chicka-bamp-bamp! Sorry! Sorry. That should've been a DUN! because God knows neither of these boys is ever going to have Crisis Sex on this show. "In fact," Nurse Pam continues, ignoring me completely, "I've been waiting for this the entire time." "For what?" clueless Sammy buhs. "To get you alone," Nurse Pam twinkles, right before she tweaks out and slams Sam onto the floor. And, no, like I said before: Not For That Reason. She leaps to straddle his remarkably broad chest, biffing him once in the face before slashing open a shallow gash across his clavicle with a handy scalpel. She then carves a gouge into her own palm and presses her dripping hand against his fresh wound. Dean finally manages to kick in the door and pump Nurse Pam full of lead, but it's too late: Sammy's been exposed. "And not in the good way, like he was in 'Hell House.'" Raoul hastens to remind us all. "Lord, I have never been so envious of a towel in my life!" Meanwhile, while Raoul's been reveling in fond memories of better days, Dean's eyes widen at the relevant realization for a bit until everyone vanishes into the next METAL TEETH CHOMP!

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Supernatural

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