Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 5 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Go Viral

RAAAWWWR! "Eeeeeeeeeeeee! Pity the rest of the episode's not nearly as well-paced as the pre-credits sequence, though." Shhhh! That's a spoiler! "Oh. Um. Ooops! Hee hee!"

The Impala grumbles down the nighttime backroads somewhere as Sammy navigates with one of those newfangled GPS devices all the kids are talking about nowadays. During the expository blithering that follows, Sam basically relates the details of his nocturnal death emission, which he probably would have done long before now if this show had any sort of rational timeline, but that's not important, because what's really important here is the subtext of the chatter they're sharing at the moment: Sam clearly believes that over the last couple of months, his brother's become just the sort of addle-brained psycho who would shoot an entirely innocent man twice in the head. Dean picks up on this and vehemently disagrees, and Sam's all, "Fine!" and Dean's all, "Fine!" and Sam's all "FINE!" and Dean's all "FINE!" and Metallicar, having long ago grown weary of this sort of tedious brotherly bickering, speeds up to plow through the episode's title card at the bottom of the screen.

Early the next morning, Metallicar grumbles into downtown River Grove, which Supernatural would have you believe is not an urbanized suburb of Portland, but rather a rustic and quaint little burg out in the middle of nowhere. Dean wheels the Impala into a parking spot along the town's main commercial drag just outside the MEDICAL CLINIC, and the boys glance around at the affable-seeming residents, who casually amble about offering friendly greetings to one another, because that's just how folks roll in small-town America. Sam spots the middle-aged gentleman from his nocturnal death emission fiddling with a rod and reel on the front porch of a bait-and-tackle shop across the way and nudges at Dean to point the gentleman out. "He was there," Sam nods, so Our Intrepid Heroes disembark and head over. "Morning!" Dean brightly opens, and this is the last bit of truth to emerge from his mouth for a very long time as the LYING LIAR WHO LIES proceeds to introduce himself as "Billy Gibbons." Along with his partner, "Frank Beard," the two are "U.S. Marshals" in search of, as Sam puts it, "a young man, early twenties, with a thin scar right below his hairline." "What'd he do?" the suddenly suspicious gentleman demands, likely because even he recognizes the fact that the false names actually belong to two of the hairballs from ZZ Top. Dean LIES that the person they're looking for "isn't in any kind of trouble," but the gentleman clams up anyway. Well, he clams up until Dean notices a tattoo of a cap-wearing bulldog on the inside of the gentleman's forearm and smarms, "I think maybe you know who he is, master sergeant." "My dad was in the Corps," Dean explains. "He was a corporal." LIE! I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure. "What company?" the gentleman demands, still not quite buying their act. "Echo-Two-One," Dean replies without hesitation, so the gentleman allows his frosty reserve to melt a bit in order to admit that one "Duane Tanner" bears a scar similar to the one the boys described. The gentleman directs Our Intrepid Heroes towards the Tanner homestead "up Aspen Lane," and eyes them uneasily as they take their smiling leave.

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Supernatural

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